--- Time ---
“I simply cant find the time!”
“I’m still young, I will have a lot of time to do that later.”
“I’m too old to try and do that now.”
Sound familiar?
Most of us identify with one or two these statements. We have all said it. We have all felt it. And what the heck, it’s so damn true! It even sounds right!
But it isn’t.
And the crazy fact is that you know it and will not acknowledge even if a gun is put to your head. It’s just convenient. To play the blame game with time is the easiest way out.
Time is not about preaching, but about self reflection.
“I gotta work out. I keep saying it all the time. I keep saying I gotta start working out. It's been about two months since I've worked out. And I just don't have the time. Which uh..is odd. Because I have the time to go out to dinner. And uh..and watch tv. And get a bone density test. And uh.. try to figure out what my phone number spells in words.” – Ellen DeGeneres.
If you are amused, or have smiled, you have an idea of where this coming from, and where it’s headed. Admission. That’s the first step right there.
Admit it! There is always time. You don’t need to make it, it’s already there.
It’s really not rocket science. And it’s actually as easily done as said. All you got to do is prioritize. And if that sounds too philosophical, here’s the deal:
‘That extra hour of mind numbing television?’ or ‘…those guitar classes you have always wanted to take up?’
‘An extra hour of sleep?’ or ‘…that art class you have wanted to take up?’
‘That extra hour of sleep?’ or ‘…an hour of working out in the morning?’
‘An extended lunch hour and a few extra coffee breaks followed by an extra hour of work’ or ‘Getting off work with the sun still out?’ (You can even perhaps fit in that workout hour in here if you can’t wake up in the morning.)
You don’t have to create time. You just have to use it as best you can. All that needs to be done is to make sure is that you use and chart out that fixed time in the most productive way possible.
--- Timing ---
“…I have commenced on the great mission with a great vision in a great season [spring season] to fight against the mighty Mt. Everest with the will-power of my mind and the clean energy of my heart.” – Min Bahadur Sherchan.
Min Bahadur was 76 years old when he said this. He was successful. He became the oldest man to have scaled the mountain in 2008 beating a 71 year old from a year earlier. He was 25 days shy of turning 77, and he is still going strong.
The only real response to this information is of course, “Damn! What a nut-job!” followed by a crazy look of awe and recognition towards what this man has accomplished. That really is some crazy shit right there.
So smell that fresh powder on the top of that summit. Almost anything you use at this point with respect to time and age to make an excuse will fail in relation. Not to mention what you read in the papers every other day about 90 year olds going back to school and taking driving lessons.
It’s never too late to start or do anything. If a seventy six year old can climb Mt. Everest, we have run out of excuses. We are not too old to learn to surf or take those music classes. We are not too old to ride a horse or to take up tennis lessons. We are not too old to go back to school or take driving lessons. We will simply never be too old to do anything ever again.
And this also extends to emotions too. It is never too old late to admit a mistake or to try to amend one. It is also never too late to say sorry or forgive. And it is never too late to mend relationships.
Physical or emotional, its never to late to accomplish what in your heart of hearts you know can be done, something that you know to be possible, no matter how much you wish it wasn’t. If it can be done, and you want it done, then it should be done, no matter how soon or late you realize it.
Know this:
There is always time. And it is never too late.
Saturday, November 20, 2010
Saturday, November 6, 2010
The Solution to happiness
Its Diwali. You are very young, you like those little red dots. They burst when thrown on a wall, they burst when you use them in toy guns, they burst when rubbed against a wall. You enjoy rockets too.
You get a year or two older, and you enjoy those little crackers rolled in red paper. You burst them all day, in tin cans, under leaves, under rocks, in bottles. That and you enjoy rockets with little plastic men in parachutes coming out of them.
You get a couple of years older, and you enjoy those ‘atom’ bombs, the crackers wrapped in green rope. These are more potent with louder bangs. Now, you enjoy rockets with colorful fireworks. The larger the better.
You get a few years older, and you no longer find interest in crackers. But if you were shown the detonation of dynamite anywhere, you would perhaps leap at the opportunity.
Life is a little like that. The smaller things that we enjoyed as youngsters, we take of granted. They no longer interest us and we want more. We want bigger things. We want more exclusive things. We begin to lose track of what makes us happy and why. The wonder and amazement falls off the wagon and nothing we have or had seems enough. We compare and then we compare some more. The little things in life that should give us happiness no more do. Call it an inescapable journey which each of us must tread. Happiness is at a premium and our quest seems unending.
We often want to go back to childhood, when we were less jaded and those little red dots and flower pots gave us the most happiness in life. But we cannot.
We know we must find a way out, we know that we might never be able to go back to the innocence where the smallest of things gave us the most happiness, like a grandfather buying a cheap little plastic car. You were on top of the world! Today anything less than a nice plush real car would not give that kind of happiness.
So how do we get back to true happiness, the kind that we had when we were younger?
I don’t really know.
There are a lot of questions that each of us have. There are a lot of short comings. And answers are not always at arms length. This passage is not about absolute solutions.
As the old saying goes, a man must be taught to fish, not given it.
So here is the deal.
Knowing that there is a problem is the solution.
It is not the answer, but it is the first step to that basic happiness.
We all have issues and problems, and acknowledging that we do, is that first step to an answer – the prologue to a solution.
The truth is, answers to some questions we will never find, answers to some, we will in time. But regardless of whether we do or not, just knowing that there are short comings will help us build on ourselves.
Knowledge and acknowledge will help us know understand where we stand against ourselves. It will help us emerge as stronger individuals, aware individuals.
The first stage of a solution to happiness is in that acknowledgement.
You get a year or two older, and you enjoy those little crackers rolled in red paper. You burst them all day, in tin cans, under leaves, under rocks, in bottles. That and you enjoy rockets with little plastic men in parachutes coming out of them.
You get a couple of years older, and you enjoy those ‘atom’ bombs, the crackers wrapped in green rope. These are more potent with louder bangs. Now, you enjoy rockets with colorful fireworks. The larger the better.
You get a few years older, and you no longer find interest in crackers. But if you were shown the detonation of dynamite anywhere, you would perhaps leap at the opportunity.
Life is a little like that. The smaller things that we enjoyed as youngsters, we take of granted. They no longer interest us and we want more. We want bigger things. We want more exclusive things. We begin to lose track of what makes us happy and why. The wonder and amazement falls off the wagon and nothing we have or had seems enough. We compare and then we compare some more. The little things in life that should give us happiness no more do. Call it an inescapable journey which each of us must tread. Happiness is at a premium and our quest seems unending.
We often want to go back to childhood, when we were less jaded and those little red dots and flower pots gave us the most happiness in life. But we cannot.
We know we must find a way out, we know that we might never be able to go back to the innocence where the smallest of things gave us the most happiness, like a grandfather buying a cheap little plastic car. You were on top of the world! Today anything less than a nice plush real car would not give that kind of happiness.
So how do we get back to true happiness, the kind that we had when we were younger?
I don’t really know.
There are a lot of questions that each of us have. There are a lot of short comings. And answers are not always at arms length. This passage is not about absolute solutions.
As the old saying goes, a man must be taught to fish, not given it.
So here is the deal.
Knowing that there is a problem is the solution.
It is not the answer, but it is the first step to that basic happiness.
We all have issues and problems, and acknowledging that we do, is that first step to an answer – the prologue to a solution.
The truth is, answers to some questions we will never find, answers to some, we will in time. But regardless of whether we do or not, just knowing that there are short comings will help us build on ourselves.
Knowledge and acknowledge will help us know understand where we stand against ourselves. It will help us emerge as stronger individuals, aware individuals.
The first stage of a solution to happiness is in that acknowledgement.
Saturday, October 16, 2010
Your Growth Path
Companies today create a growth path for their employees. This is usually an important prerogative of the company’s human resources department. It may not always be as effective as they think ofcourse, but brownie points for trying.
Now the reasons for this growth path being created are two-fold. There are the selfish reasons, and there is the selfless reason. The first and main reason is to try and retain employees and decrease attrition. The second one is to groom the better employees so that they might later be able to further the company and help it grow. These are the selfish reasons. As for the selfless reason, it is to make the employee feel good and secure, so that he or she might have something to look forward to and work towards, a little bit like the carrot and the donkey.
And of course the ‘selfless’ reason causes the selfish reason and hence it all seems to work out quite well for both parties involved.
Looks like a good deal? Well it pretty much is, on the face of it.
Now consider this. You as an employee have been given or shown a possible growth path. It looks like a lucrative path, one with interesting possibilities, the truth being in this particular field and company it possibly is. The money might not be too bad either.
But here-in lies the catch of life. And one must stay vigilant. This is a growth path that only leads you to where you might become what your boss’s boss is (Or something in those lines). Think about it.
Considered? Now answer this,
‘Do you want to become your boss’s boss?’
Answered?
Now think about this. Is that the person you wish to really become? And this means hook line and sinker.
Is that the kind of life you wish to lead? Those hours? Those responsibilities? Those kind of problems? Almost exactly that person life in most matters? Is that your best case scenario future? Does what he or she do really excite you the way you think it does?
Now think about this as well, X number of years to get there – is that where you want to be in those X stated years? Exactly in that position? All the sweat and toil, and is that really the position you want to be in, with regard to the whole package? Money, responsibility, kind of work, and kind of life? In short is Mr. ‘insert the name of your boss’s boss here’ the person you wish to become and lead a similar life if not the same? Is that who you want to work towards and be in a couple of years time?
Of all the infinite possibilities of what your life and this world has to offer, is your prerogative to become what your boss’s boss is today, a few years down?
Now also answer this,
‘Is that your best-case scenario future? Is that your life plan? Was it ever?’
It is at this point that you must ditch the well-travelled path and ignore the map signs and decide for yourself. Take the blinds off. School is out and we are right in the thick of life now. So answer honestly.
If the answer is in the affirmative, great! And good going! You perhaps should give yourself a pat on your back. You have the right ‘Growth path’ for you.
If not, then it’s time to rethink your ‘growth path’ and plan. Because, while a company will always offer you one, and with this you will feel secure and nice in that little shell of a life, you will be bound to just that. Eventually tunnel vision takes over and once the tunnel is up, it is usually quite late.
So make the right decision.
Choose the growth path of your life wisely.
Now the reasons for this growth path being created are two-fold. There are the selfish reasons, and there is the selfless reason. The first and main reason is to try and retain employees and decrease attrition. The second one is to groom the better employees so that they might later be able to further the company and help it grow. These are the selfish reasons. As for the selfless reason, it is to make the employee feel good and secure, so that he or she might have something to look forward to and work towards, a little bit like the carrot and the donkey.
And of course the ‘selfless’ reason causes the selfish reason and hence it all seems to work out quite well for both parties involved.
Looks like a good deal? Well it pretty much is, on the face of it.
Now consider this. You as an employee have been given or shown a possible growth path. It looks like a lucrative path, one with interesting possibilities, the truth being in this particular field and company it possibly is. The money might not be too bad either.
But here-in lies the catch of life. And one must stay vigilant. This is a growth path that only leads you to where you might become what your boss’s boss is (Or something in those lines). Think about it.
Considered? Now answer this,
‘Do you want to become your boss’s boss?’
Answered?
Now think about this. Is that the person you wish to really become? And this means hook line and sinker.
Is that the kind of life you wish to lead? Those hours? Those responsibilities? Those kind of problems? Almost exactly that person life in most matters? Is that your best case scenario future? Does what he or she do really excite you the way you think it does?
Now think about this as well, X number of years to get there – is that where you want to be in those X stated years? Exactly in that position? All the sweat and toil, and is that really the position you want to be in, with regard to the whole package? Money, responsibility, kind of work, and kind of life? In short is Mr. ‘insert the name of your boss’s boss here’ the person you wish to become and lead a similar life if not the same? Is that who you want to work towards and be in a couple of years time?
Of all the infinite possibilities of what your life and this world has to offer, is your prerogative to become what your boss’s boss is today, a few years down?
Now also answer this,
‘Is that your best-case scenario future? Is that your life plan? Was it ever?’
It is at this point that you must ditch the well-travelled path and ignore the map signs and decide for yourself. Take the blinds off. School is out and we are right in the thick of life now. So answer honestly.
If the answer is in the affirmative, great! And good going! You perhaps should give yourself a pat on your back. You have the right ‘Growth path’ for you.
If not, then it’s time to rethink your ‘growth path’ and plan. Because, while a company will always offer you one, and with this you will feel secure and nice in that little shell of a life, you will be bound to just that. Eventually tunnel vision takes over and once the tunnel is up, it is usually quite late.
So make the right decision.
Choose the growth path of your life wisely.
Saturday, October 9, 2010
The Threshold
What do you make out of the following statement.
‘Money can buy you happiness.’
Well as much as you might like to believe otherwise, yes, money can buy you happiness. The best things in life might be free, but more often than not, it takes money to let you find yourself in that situation in the first place.
Watching a sunset might be free, but watching a beautiful sunset in the right setting costs money. Loving might be free, but finding someone to connect and love costs money. Helping someone might be free, but more often than not these days, one does not have the time and so that costs money too!
One might define personal happiness on multiple levels. One finds happiness in the happiness of loved ones. Momentary as it might be, the buying of a new car, or house, going out and dining out at that lovely restaurant, charity!, Hiking out in the woods, pitching a tent in the wilderness (that tent costs money, not to mention getting there!), gifting something to friends and family, treating someone. All of these things cost money.
To live, to survive in this world, like it or not, it costs money.
Now that we have identified that money can buy you happiness to a certain degree and it is an essential, take a look at this other statement.
‘If money can buy you happiness,
Infinite money can buy you infinite happiness.’
Now despite the valuation of money described above, unlike mathematics, the two statements are not directly proportional. The truth here and now is in fact the latter statement could not be further from the truth.
The truth is this. We all have certain needs and necessities to be able to live a comfortable life. The way we have been brought up defines what this might be and to what degree money governs this. But the fact is there is always a threshold. Let us call it the monetary threshold. And once that threshold is crossed, money almost does not matter. Loosely, one might say it is the difference between a man who owns a billion dollars and a man who owns ten billion.
After a certain point or threshold, it simply does not matter.
When people often say to beginners in any industry, like – ‘don’t go after the money, concentrate on learning, and job satisfaction as these are more important’ they are speaking from an internal governing of experience. While they might not always understand the money threshold, they are using it.
To life a life of satisfaction, you must understand your monetary threshold.
Beyond what point does money stop to matter with regard to how you wish to live or what you want to do. And be honest about it. Know if working for those extra 10 years and really letting life pass in order to own that Ferrari is going to give you the happiness you crave. Know what your priorities in life are, and understand what and how much you really need to fulfill it and live life to the fullest.
Do not push yourself merely in competition with another person to earn more money. What works for him might not work for you. And they are in all probability just like you, pushing themselves because you are. Detach yourself from the crowd and understand what it is that you want and how much would that life cost.
You will be surprised suddenly how an extremely inflated number in your head becomes so much more attainable and make you so much happier and calmer.
Know that every rupee that is left in the bank after your death is a testimony to that extra time you wasted earning it, instead of spending it.
Find your monetary threshold.
Plan life accordingly.
‘Money can buy you happiness.’
Well as much as you might like to believe otherwise, yes, money can buy you happiness. The best things in life might be free, but more often than not, it takes money to let you find yourself in that situation in the first place.
Watching a sunset might be free, but watching a beautiful sunset in the right setting costs money. Loving might be free, but finding someone to connect and love costs money. Helping someone might be free, but more often than not these days, one does not have the time and so that costs money too!
One might define personal happiness on multiple levels. One finds happiness in the happiness of loved ones. Momentary as it might be, the buying of a new car, or house, going out and dining out at that lovely restaurant, charity!, Hiking out in the woods, pitching a tent in the wilderness (that tent costs money, not to mention getting there!), gifting something to friends and family, treating someone. All of these things cost money.
To live, to survive in this world, like it or not, it costs money.
Now that we have identified that money can buy you happiness to a certain degree and it is an essential, take a look at this other statement.
‘If money can buy you happiness,
Infinite money can buy you infinite happiness.’
Now despite the valuation of money described above, unlike mathematics, the two statements are not directly proportional. The truth here and now is in fact the latter statement could not be further from the truth.
The truth is this. We all have certain needs and necessities to be able to live a comfortable life. The way we have been brought up defines what this might be and to what degree money governs this. But the fact is there is always a threshold. Let us call it the monetary threshold. And once that threshold is crossed, money almost does not matter. Loosely, one might say it is the difference between a man who owns a billion dollars and a man who owns ten billion.
After a certain point or threshold, it simply does not matter.
When people often say to beginners in any industry, like – ‘don’t go after the money, concentrate on learning, and job satisfaction as these are more important’ they are speaking from an internal governing of experience. While they might not always understand the money threshold, they are using it.
To life a life of satisfaction, you must understand your monetary threshold.
Beyond what point does money stop to matter with regard to how you wish to live or what you want to do. And be honest about it. Know if working for those extra 10 years and really letting life pass in order to own that Ferrari is going to give you the happiness you crave. Know what your priorities in life are, and understand what and how much you really need to fulfill it and live life to the fullest.
Do not push yourself merely in competition with another person to earn more money. What works for him might not work for you. And they are in all probability just like you, pushing themselves because you are. Detach yourself from the crowd and understand what it is that you want and how much would that life cost.
You will be surprised suddenly how an extremely inflated number in your head becomes so much more attainable and make you so much happier and calmer.
Know that every rupee that is left in the bank after your death is a testimony to that extra time you wasted earning it, instead of spending it.
Find your monetary threshold.
Plan life accordingly.
Sunday, October 3, 2010
The voice of reason
Unlike the paradox of the uncommon nature of the idea of common sense, we all seem to do exceedingly well with regard to reason. We all manage to live our lives with painstakingly great sense of reasoning, and logic.
We postpone certain ideas and jobs in favor of the ‘that makes more sense’ job in front of us. We decide to put on hold certain exciting plans in life because it just ‘isnt the right time now’, which is incidentally always between a year and five away no matter when we think of it. We make all the right decisions and live reasonable lives.
In short, our life mimics the life of mundane reason and maturity that increasingly improves with age. Also in short, to compensate for all of this lack of excitement, we live our lives through the eyes and lives of others – very much like the idea of when you wear an Armani suit, the essence of Armani rubs off you and you feel good about yourselves.
Or when we go and watch movies to escape from where we are and for that few hours we become part of this other life – that of the main protagonist in the movies.
Ever wonder why ‘Friends’ is one of your favorite comedies of all time.
We align our minds with those persons we would have liked to live like, be it a Kurt Cobain or Bear Grylls (of Man Vs Wild fame) or an Anthony Bourdain, Richard Branson, or that coolest guy or the hottest PYT today – basically anyone from leading DJs, travel/food show hosts to adventure daredevils, sports personalities, actors, politicians and other crazed celebrities who have dared to do and be more than most of us.
The right and reasonable decisions help us lead exactly the lives that they must – right and reasonable.
(The same thing everyone else is trying to do for some reason!)
Its almost like doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results - better ones at that.
The only thing that really differentiates the people you want to be like from the people that you are or turning out to be, is that they chose to disregard the voice of reason sometimes and you don’t.
They see the bright red ‘skulls and bones’ sign all over the ‘right and reasonable decisions’ and clearly read the word ‘Danger’, while you clearly see the same danger sign and treat it like we do most things we are afraid of - like old age, death – with Denial.
'That happens to other people. It cant possible happen to me. Everyone else have missed something, but im doing everything right!'
Only it does happen. And before you know it, life is passing you by and you are in your mid 30s and 40s and still living your life through another’s.
So what does your voice of reason say today?
We postpone certain ideas and jobs in favor of the ‘that makes more sense’ job in front of us. We decide to put on hold certain exciting plans in life because it just ‘isnt the right time now’, which is incidentally always between a year and five away no matter when we think of it. We make all the right decisions and live reasonable lives.
In short, our life mimics the life of mundane reason and maturity that increasingly improves with age. Also in short, to compensate for all of this lack of excitement, we live our lives through the eyes and lives of others – very much like the idea of when you wear an Armani suit, the essence of Armani rubs off you and you feel good about yourselves.
Or when we go and watch movies to escape from where we are and for that few hours we become part of this other life – that of the main protagonist in the movies.
Ever wonder why ‘Friends’ is one of your favorite comedies of all time.
We align our minds with those persons we would have liked to live like, be it a Kurt Cobain or Bear Grylls (of Man Vs Wild fame) or an Anthony Bourdain, Richard Branson, or that coolest guy or the hottest PYT today – basically anyone from leading DJs, travel/food show hosts to adventure daredevils, sports personalities, actors, politicians and other crazed celebrities who have dared to do and be more than most of us.
The right and reasonable decisions help us lead exactly the lives that they must – right and reasonable.
(The same thing everyone else is trying to do for some reason!)
Its almost like doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results - better ones at that.
The only thing that really differentiates the people you want to be like from the people that you are or turning out to be, is that they chose to disregard the voice of reason sometimes and you don’t.
They see the bright red ‘skulls and bones’ sign all over the ‘right and reasonable decisions’ and clearly read the word ‘Danger’, while you clearly see the same danger sign and treat it like we do most things we are afraid of - like old age, death – with Denial.
'That happens to other people. It cant possible happen to me. Everyone else have missed something, but im doing everything right!'
Only it does happen. And before you know it, life is passing you by and you are in your mid 30s and 40s and still living your life through another’s.
So what does your voice of reason say today?
Thursday, September 30, 2010
When your best just isn't good enough!
Sometimes doing your best just isn’t good enough.
You pour in your heart and soul, you work at something for days, sometimes months, years even; you work at something with all you have in you, and it falls apart. It doesn’t measure up to what you had hoped for, it just is not good enough or it just plain fails.
You are not alone. And it is more common than you think.
It happens.
It happens in relationships, it happens to something you work on, it happens to the best of your passions. And whats more, it happens to the best of us. Sometimes you missed a crucial ingredient in what you were doing, sometimes its because life is unfair, sometimes it was because of someone else’s mistake, and sometimes, just sometimes, its because your best just was not good enough.
Despite what you tell yourself, despite the reasons you make up, you just did not measure up this time.
A tough pill to swallow orally. An almost impossible pill to swallow for the ego.
And when this really happens, the entire concept of ‘try to not have expectations with what you do’, or ‘doing your best, and its all that matters’ is suddenly just some drivel a bunch of feel-good, do-gooders conjured to make losers feel better. And you feel like you are part of them. And no, it does not help, if anything it just makes you want to smack them in their faces.
It hurts, it pains, there is a dark hole inside of you, this ache of helplessness that you cannot seem of crawl out of.
The simple truth is plain as it is simple.
You failed.
It does not matter why you did at this moment, suffice that you did.
Deal with it.
Accept it, because it has happened. Know that it since it has happened, it is in the past and there is nothing you can do in the present to undo it. Accept it not because you are gracious or because there is no shame in it, but because it is the only real way out- not of just this situation, but to remedy it- to move on, looking to the future.
This is the one time you must climb out of that dark hole inside of you. And then you have to do this time and time again through out your life. Practice makes perfect. You must learn how to climb out of that hole without a torch or ladder. And after a while, it gets easier. The old folklore of a battered Richard of Bruce and the spider comes to mind (Even without the folklore, after numerous back to back military failures, he did eventually win Scotland’s independence after all).
But today we do not want to try again and again. We have become an impatient generation, full of requirements of immediate self gratification. After one or a couple of half or full hearted tries we expect triumph, whether we deserve it or not. Our egos have strengthened but perseverance has dampened. When pushed into that dark hole of failure, we gape, aghast in horror as if this was an unthinkable bad dream. We then expect that ladder to be thrown in, or better yet, an elevator be carved out of rock, as if it were our birth right. But it does not happen.
Use my version of Newton’s tweaked brilliance here- when pushed into a corner, push back (or else you fold).
It is time to climb back into that dark hole and get back out. Bruised and battered, perhaps a stone might come lose half way up, or a smudge of moss might cause you lose grip or balance, to slip and crash. Its time to endure a few bruises and broken bones, to feel that battered ego, to feed your soul, not to give up and sulk at your luck, but to climb out into the light, outside of that hole, to come out stronger. There is no short cut, there is no reason to wail and wallow in self pity or misery. There is no shame. There is only endurance. And endurance does prevail.
That is what will separate you from another. You will not be good at everything you do, but endurance will dig you out of that hole. This is what will decide who you really are, if you are worth your weight in gold, or yet another rotting tree trunk. Wallowing is easy. And you are intelligent enough to know that much.
Judge not yourself on your failure, but on your reaction to it.
This will decide not the outcome of that instance, but your life.
This right here will become your definition.
This right here becomes you.
You pour in your heart and soul, you work at something for days, sometimes months, years even; you work at something with all you have in you, and it falls apart. It doesn’t measure up to what you had hoped for, it just is not good enough or it just plain fails.
You are not alone. And it is more common than you think.
It happens.
It happens in relationships, it happens to something you work on, it happens to the best of your passions. And whats more, it happens to the best of us. Sometimes you missed a crucial ingredient in what you were doing, sometimes its because life is unfair, sometimes it was because of someone else’s mistake, and sometimes, just sometimes, its because your best just was not good enough.
Despite what you tell yourself, despite the reasons you make up, you just did not measure up this time.
A tough pill to swallow orally. An almost impossible pill to swallow for the ego.
And when this really happens, the entire concept of ‘try to not have expectations with what you do’, or ‘doing your best, and its all that matters’ is suddenly just some drivel a bunch of feel-good, do-gooders conjured to make losers feel better. And you feel like you are part of them. And no, it does not help, if anything it just makes you want to smack them in their faces.
It hurts, it pains, there is a dark hole inside of you, this ache of helplessness that you cannot seem of crawl out of.
The simple truth is plain as it is simple.
You failed.
It does not matter why you did at this moment, suffice that you did.
Deal with it.
Accept it, because it has happened. Know that it since it has happened, it is in the past and there is nothing you can do in the present to undo it. Accept it not because you are gracious or because there is no shame in it, but because it is the only real way out- not of just this situation, but to remedy it- to move on, looking to the future.
This is the one time you must climb out of that dark hole inside of you. And then you have to do this time and time again through out your life. Practice makes perfect. You must learn how to climb out of that hole without a torch or ladder. And after a while, it gets easier. The old folklore of a battered Richard of Bruce and the spider comes to mind (Even without the folklore, after numerous back to back military failures, he did eventually win Scotland’s independence after all).
But today we do not want to try again and again. We have become an impatient generation, full of requirements of immediate self gratification. After one or a couple of half or full hearted tries we expect triumph, whether we deserve it or not. Our egos have strengthened but perseverance has dampened. When pushed into that dark hole of failure, we gape, aghast in horror as if this was an unthinkable bad dream. We then expect that ladder to be thrown in, or better yet, an elevator be carved out of rock, as if it were our birth right. But it does not happen.
Use my version of Newton’s tweaked brilliance here- when pushed into a corner, push back (or else you fold).
It is time to climb back into that dark hole and get back out. Bruised and battered, perhaps a stone might come lose half way up, or a smudge of moss might cause you lose grip or balance, to slip and crash. Its time to endure a few bruises and broken bones, to feel that battered ego, to feed your soul, not to give up and sulk at your luck, but to climb out into the light, outside of that hole, to come out stronger. There is no short cut, there is no reason to wail and wallow in self pity or misery. There is no shame. There is only endurance. And endurance does prevail.
That is what will separate you from another. You will not be good at everything you do, but endurance will dig you out of that hole. This is what will decide who you really are, if you are worth your weight in gold, or yet another rotting tree trunk. Wallowing is easy. And you are intelligent enough to know that much.
Judge not yourself on your failure, but on your reaction to it.
This will decide not the outcome of that instance, but your life.
This right here will become your definition.
This right here becomes you.
Monday, August 23, 2010
Zoom In! Zoom Out!
Honest answer here.
How many times have you picked up something and gotten so wrapped up in it that you forgot everything else and kept at it so long that you almost completely ignored everything else around you?
It is an amazing feeling. And its almost always worth getting to that place.
But as is everything, too much of anything is never great. There are two sides to the coin.
Most of us fall into this myopic vision category at some part of time or the other. The funny thing is that there are so few of us far-sighted enough that if you think of the antonym of myopic, most of us would actually draw a complete blank.
There have been many times that I have gotten caught up making that perfect sketch, down to every detail on it, that I fell out of time towards the entire job at hand.
How many times (and this is for those rather intellectual bunch out there) has this happened in a math exam, where you decided you simply had to solve that one question that you could not crack. So much so that you ignored the rest of the questions because they weren’t challenging enough, and in the process you ran out of time.
Or how many times have you spent time to make that presentation template perfect only to realize that you spent way too much time to make that and now have too little time left to fill in the actual content of that presentation.
These are just a few examples of a micro level of ‘zoom-in’. Each of us have our own instances to relate to. The end result, too little time spent looking at the bigger picture, losing out valuable time and energy that could have been spent on the more important landscapes of life.
Getting caught up in the following of a sport that takes over your life, or spending all the time with your girlfriend or boyfriend, or more seriously even putting off that entrepreneurship opportunity for that steady income job - basically one aspect of your life completely taking over its entirety. That’s a macro level of ‘zoom-in’.
Either way, be it zooming in through the course of one day, or zooming in through the course of one year, both can be just as harmful.
Think about it.
Often on looking back on many micro and macro levels of zooming in, would you have realized that quite a bit of it was actually great, but it cost you more dearly in terms of time and emotion in life as compared to that tiny amount of satisfaction that you thought was the world to you when you did.
So no matter who you are, even if you are an artist of sorts, zoom-out!
Every few minutes or weeks, take a step back. Look at your life in tune from a third person point of view. Look at yourself as would a stranger peering into your life. Gauge this stranger’s reaction. Understand the advice this stranger would impart to you.
Take that advice! Take it seriously!
This, today, is your life.
Zoom out, and then zoom right back in. Understand that you must find a balance in your life with what you value and what would help your path, rather than an instant gratification that gives you some momentary pleasure. Go for that extended orgasm of the entirety that is your life. Look at the macro levels of your life, not constricted by any limits, be it time, passion or money.
Stay zoomed out long enough to grasp the direction and actions towards your life. Stay zoomed in long enough to make sure you are relatively satisfied with the depth of each of your actions to give you peace of mind. But get out of the zoom-out mode before you waste away your life in mere though and lack of action, and also step out of the zoom-in mode before you are consumed by that one action of self gratification that might be meaningless in the long run.
Devil is in the detail- And so is God. Zoom-in long enough to find them both, but zoom-out before either of them consumes you.
Alternate.
Zoom-in.
Zoom-out.
And then zoom-in again.
Oh! And the antonym of myopic is hyperopic.
How many times have you picked up something and gotten so wrapped up in it that you forgot everything else and kept at it so long that you almost completely ignored everything else around you?
It is an amazing feeling. And its almost always worth getting to that place.
But as is everything, too much of anything is never great. There are two sides to the coin.
Most of us fall into this myopic vision category at some part of time or the other. The funny thing is that there are so few of us far-sighted enough that if you think of the antonym of myopic, most of us would actually draw a complete blank.
There have been many times that I have gotten caught up making that perfect sketch, down to every detail on it, that I fell out of time towards the entire job at hand.
How many times (and this is for those rather intellectual bunch out there) has this happened in a math exam, where you decided you simply had to solve that one question that you could not crack. So much so that you ignored the rest of the questions because they weren’t challenging enough, and in the process you ran out of time.
Or how many times have you spent time to make that presentation template perfect only to realize that you spent way too much time to make that and now have too little time left to fill in the actual content of that presentation.
These are just a few examples of a micro level of ‘zoom-in’. Each of us have our own instances to relate to. The end result, too little time spent looking at the bigger picture, losing out valuable time and energy that could have been spent on the more important landscapes of life.
Getting caught up in the following of a sport that takes over your life, or spending all the time with your girlfriend or boyfriend, or more seriously even putting off that entrepreneurship opportunity for that steady income job - basically one aspect of your life completely taking over its entirety. That’s a macro level of ‘zoom-in’.
Either way, be it zooming in through the course of one day, or zooming in through the course of one year, both can be just as harmful.
Think about it.
Often on looking back on many micro and macro levels of zooming in, would you have realized that quite a bit of it was actually great, but it cost you more dearly in terms of time and emotion in life as compared to that tiny amount of satisfaction that you thought was the world to you when you did.
So no matter who you are, even if you are an artist of sorts, zoom-out!
Every few minutes or weeks, take a step back. Look at your life in tune from a third person point of view. Look at yourself as would a stranger peering into your life. Gauge this stranger’s reaction. Understand the advice this stranger would impart to you.
Take that advice! Take it seriously!
This, today, is your life.
Zoom out, and then zoom right back in. Understand that you must find a balance in your life with what you value and what would help your path, rather than an instant gratification that gives you some momentary pleasure. Go for that extended orgasm of the entirety that is your life. Look at the macro levels of your life, not constricted by any limits, be it time, passion or money.
Stay zoomed out long enough to grasp the direction and actions towards your life. Stay zoomed in long enough to make sure you are relatively satisfied with the depth of each of your actions to give you peace of mind. But get out of the zoom-out mode before you waste away your life in mere though and lack of action, and also step out of the zoom-in mode before you are consumed by that one action of self gratification that might be meaningless in the long run.
Devil is in the detail- And so is God. Zoom-in long enough to find them both, but zoom-out before either of them consumes you.
Alternate.
Zoom-in.
Zoom-out.
And then zoom-in again.
Oh! And the antonym of myopic is hyperopic.
Sunday, August 15, 2010
Summiting Mt. Everest: In your Underwear!
Ever think of doing something out of the box? How about way out of the box, so far out that it almost drops off the face of the planet? Imagine summiting Mount Everest in nothing but your underwear. Better yet why not add a pair of socks with it. Atleast it would keep your feet warm. And how about that photograph at the top; a string of flags, clouds and snow capped mountains a little below in the background, and singular figure, wearing only his snow goggles, an oxygen mask, his underwear, and a pair of socks.
It is well known and little mentioned fact that we all would like to lead a full life, a life without regrets. It is a path that we all wish to tread, but few who really do.
Right through most our lives, we are subject to numerous incidents and experiences. If our lives are a tad on the conservative side, we are led to believe (should we be willing or wanting to listen) that to fulfill it to its true potential we must take risks. We must take those leaps of faith every once in a while. ‘Take a chance for a change.’ We are told. We are asked to do so on various levels, from free-advising friends and family to paid-in-cash gurus, self-help experts, and several other forums that preach this (some of whom actually even follow it themselves!).
But between all that priming of motivation and sense of euphoria we are brought to feel and experience in any such forum of discussion, to truly live a regret-free life, there is the need to understand, after the preaching of leaps and jumps and chances come this:
The fine print, and the disclaimer.
Understanding this is just as important, as not all of us will blindly turn into the flower children of the 70s, a Rembrandt who will cut his ear off, or a Reinhold Messner, the first to climb Mt. Everest without oxygen.
First, the disclaimer by everyone who exudes advice to you:
Do so at your own risk. What I said is merely a suggestion.
Realize that your life is your own, all that you do first affects you.
And secondly, the fine print:
There are primarily 3 directions to living life.
The first one is to live conservatively, which roughly translates to a sedate life, where decisions made cause life to be relatively routine, a safe life, a satisfactory life, one that the majority of the world lives.
The second way of living is one with risks. Now this second way of life can be further divided into various levels of risks that he or she is willing to partake in. These would be in a band from relatively low risk taking (just a touch better than being a conservative), to a calculated risk taker (this is where one aims to be), to extreme risk-taking, where one begins to get arrogant with life.
And there is the third kind of living, which can be in simple words, termed as reckless- an adrenaline junkie, a higher calling, this way of living has many names. This last one is usually avoided by most, lest he or she is one of them overzealous lots or self destructive ones, looking forward to cause harm, either physical or mental to themselves or to those close them. These are sometimes the world changers. These are also the ones who die by the hundreds without so much as an acknowledgement of having lived. These are the ones who live off the edge of a sword.
Now there are boundary lines on each of these ways of life. These however need to be defined if one is to understand his or her niche. Now, these definitions are not etched in stone, but open to interpretation. The plan is to ‘understanding ones appetite for life and risk and where the person will find happiness’ (It’s a little like finding out by trial and error what your drinking capacity is, this ofcourse can get messy at times, but it is an acceptable evil none the less. And if it isn’t, it very well should be.).
This is an important decision.
Once decided as to which fold of life you belong to, and you have a certain picture in mind with regard to how you believe your life would be lived to the fullest, understand that it is at 90% of pushing yourself towards it, that you would be at your epitome, regardless of what fold you belong to. You would have lived the best you can, because it is more likely than not, that last 10% of your life wants or desires would border reckless with regard to you – ‘Death or Glory’ comes to mind at this point.
Try to understand the differentiation between the 90% and the 10%.
Here, it is important to make your own understanding of what you believe is comfort, risk and being reckless. Following are a few examples that work for me:
At the risk of sounding chauvinistic, if you are a woman, in a city where it is not safe to travel late at night, then getting drunk at a bar and after, trying to find a way home at 3am is reckless. It is not cool.
If you are hooked on to anything, and have a difficult time admitting it to yourself even if people around you seem to keep telling you about it, you are being reckless.
If you are tired of your job, and want to find something else to do, you just up and quit without a clue, you are a high risk taker. If you are a family man and have responsibilities and the sole bread winner, and still do the same, then you are being reckless.
If you know what your drinking capacity is and you push for another round of drinks and decide to drive, it is also reckless.
And my personal favorite: If you are trying to climb Everest in your underwear alone, you are being reckless… and stupid. (Note from experience: adding socks will not help. They will only get wet and make you colder).
Each one of us must find what fold of living we belong to. Each of us must ask ourselves this question, and understand ourselves. Find your direction of living. Understand the risks involved, your risk appetite, what would make you happiest and let you sleep well at night.
After that, go for broke!
It is well known and little mentioned fact that we all would like to lead a full life, a life without regrets. It is a path that we all wish to tread, but few who really do.
Right through most our lives, we are subject to numerous incidents and experiences. If our lives are a tad on the conservative side, we are led to believe (should we be willing or wanting to listen) that to fulfill it to its true potential we must take risks. We must take those leaps of faith every once in a while. ‘Take a chance for a change.’ We are told. We are asked to do so on various levels, from free-advising friends and family to paid-in-cash gurus, self-help experts, and several other forums that preach this (some of whom actually even follow it themselves!).
But between all that priming of motivation and sense of euphoria we are brought to feel and experience in any such forum of discussion, to truly live a regret-free life, there is the need to understand, after the preaching of leaps and jumps and chances come this:
The fine print, and the disclaimer.
Understanding this is just as important, as not all of us will blindly turn into the flower children of the 70s, a Rembrandt who will cut his ear off, or a Reinhold Messner, the first to climb Mt. Everest without oxygen.
First, the disclaimer by everyone who exudes advice to you:
Do so at your own risk. What I said is merely a suggestion.
Realize that your life is your own, all that you do first affects you.
And secondly, the fine print:
There are primarily 3 directions to living life.
The first one is to live conservatively, which roughly translates to a sedate life, where decisions made cause life to be relatively routine, a safe life, a satisfactory life, one that the majority of the world lives.
The second way of living is one with risks. Now this second way of life can be further divided into various levels of risks that he or she is willing to partake in. These would be in a band from relatively low risk taking (just a touch better than being a conservative), to a calculated risk taker (this is where one aims to be), to extreme risk-taking, where one begins to get arrogant with life.
And there is the third kind of living, which can be in simple words, termed as reckless- an adrenaline junkie, a higher calling, this way of living has many names. This last one is usually avoided by most, lest he or she is one of them overzealous lots or self destructive ones, looking forward to cause harm, either physical or mental to themselves or to those close them. These are sometimes the world changers. These are also the ones who die by the hundreds without so much as an acknowledgement of having lived. These are the ones who live off the edge of a sword.
Now there are boundary lines on each of these ways of life. These however need to be defined if one is to understand his or her niche. Now, these definitions are not etched in stone, but open to interpretation. The plan is to ‘understanding ones appetite for life and risk and where the person will find happiness’ (It’s a little like finding out by trial and error what your drinking capacity is, this ofcourse can get messy at times, but it is an acceptable evil none the less. And if it isn’t, it very well should be.).
This is an important decision.
Once decided as to which fold of life you belong to, and you have a certain picture in mind with regard to how you believe your life would be lived to the fullest, understand that it is at 90% of pushing yourself towards it, that you would be at your epitome, regardless of what fold you belong to. You would have lived the best you can, because it is more likely than not, that last 10% of your life wants or desires would border reckless with regard to you – ‘Death or Glory’ comes to mind at this point.
Try to understand the differentiation between the 90% and the 10%.
Here, it is important to make your own understanding of what you believe is comfort, risk and being reckless. Following are a few examples that work for me:
At the risk of sounding chauvinistic, if you are a woman, in a city where it is not safe to travel late at night, then getting drunk at a bar and after, trying to find a way home at 3am is reckless. It is not cool.
If you are hooked on to anything, and have a difficult time admitting it to yourself even if people around you seem to keep telling you about it, you are being reckless.
If you are tired of your job, and want to find something else to do, you just up and quit without a clue, you are a high risk taker. If you are a family man and have responsibilities and the sole bread winner, and still do the same, then you are being reckless.
If you know what your drinking capacity is and you push for another round of drinks and decide to drive, it is also reckless.
And my personal favorite: If you are trying to climb Everest in your underwear alone, you are being reckless… and stupid. (Note from experience: adding socks will not help. They will only get wet and make you colder).
Each one of us must find what fold of living we belong to. Each of us must ask ourselves this question, and understand ourselves. Find your direction of living. Understand the risks involved, your risk appetite, what would make you happiest and let you sleep well at night.
After that, go for broke!
Friday, August 13, 2010
Be Mohammed Ali!
“I am the greatest… I said that even before I knew I was.”
Says Muhammad Ali on hindsight of all his achievements. Arguably one of the greatest boxers of all time, Muhammad Ali was one of the strongest believers of himself. And in time he made the world stand up and take that same view of him.
With his colorful quotes of self appreciation, that he constantly spewed as he delivered punches onto his opponents faces, Muhammad Ali pushed the world into giving him the same stature that he had for himself.
Would he have been just as great a boxer had he not said what he did? Perhaps. But can you imagine a world without the character of Muhammad Ali as he really was?
“I’m not the greatest; I’m the double greatest. Not only do I knock ‘em out, I pick the round.”
Boxing would never have been the same without the man who formerly went by name, Cassius Marcellus Clay Jr. nor would have the world stood up and taken notice of this man as did had he not had his taunts and self appreciating skills. He would have been great, but not the greatest character of boxing history.
If there is one thing to learn from Mr. Ali, it is this- You got to stand up tall, believe your self-worth, and then go ahead and make sure the world believes it. Because you may be good, but if you don’t stand up and make people believe it nobody is ever going to bother to find out. Because frankly, they couldn’t care less, unless of course you make them.
Think of that group work in school, where you had a significant contribution. You were taught to be humble at the time, and the thunder was stolen by that student in your group who presented. Or think of that job, where you did everything you were asked to and more, but did not talk about it enough. That average colleague of yours who made everyone stand up and take notice of any significant contribution he did, got the promotion. Perhaps you were appreciated as well, with a pat on the back. He got the promotion and pay hike. He stood up and affirmed his worth to the administration, you didn’t.
“Floats like a butterfly, sting like a bee, his hands can’t hit what his eyes can’t see.” Said Ali before his fight in 1974 against George Foreman. Ali won the fight and gained the World Heavyweight Championship with that fight.
He has gone on to rightly say, “It’s not bragging if you can back it.” Well put. Ali not only talked, he believed in his abilities to no end, and he worked towards honing his skills with absolute resolve as well.
Believe in yourself, and then make the world believe it, both, in word and in action. And you will be the greatest in any walk of life. All you need to do is have the self confidence, even if it does border cockiness, and nose dive into that greatest game- life.
On golf Ali said, “I’m the best. I just haven’t played yet.” Doubt anyone has any suspicion on Ali’s resolve should he had put his mind to anything in life.
So here is my advice thats worth a little more than just a penny.
Next time you come up against any situation at all in life, just ask yourself this one question... ‘What would Muhammad Ali do?’ and go for the kill with absolute resolve.
Says Muhammad Ali on hindsight of all his achievements. Arguably one of the greatest boxers of all time, Muhammad Ali was one of the strongest believers of himself. And in time he made the world stand up and take that same view of him.
With his colorful quotes of self appreciation, that he constantly spewed as he delivered punches onto his opponents faces, Muhammad Ali pushed the world into giving him the same stature that he had for himself.
Would he have been just as great a boxer had he not said what he did? Perhaps. But can you imagine a world without the character of Muhammad Ali as he really was?
“I’m not the greatest; I’m the double greatest. Not only do I knock ‘em out, I pick the round.”
Boxing would never have been the same without the man who formerly went by name, Cassius Marcellus Clay Jr. nor would have the world stood up and taken notice of this man as did had he not had his taunts and self appreciating skills. He would have been great, but not the greatest character of boxing history.
If there is one thing to learn from Mr. Ali, it is this- You got to stand up tall, believe your self-worth, and then go ahead and make sure the world believes it. Because you may be good, but if you don’t stand up and make people believe it nobody is ever going to bother to find out. Because frankly, they couldn’t care less, unless of course you make them.
Think of that group work in school, where you had a significant contribution. You were taught to be humble at the time, and the thunder was stolen by that student in your group who presented. Or think of that job, where you did everything you were asked to and more, but did not talk about it enough. That average colleague of yours who made everyone stand up and take notice of any significant contribution he did, got the promotion. Perhaps you were appreciated as well, with a pat on the back. He got the promotion and pay hike. He stood up and affirmed his worth to the administration, you didn’t.
“Floats like a butterfly, sting like a bee, his hands can’t hit what his eyes can’t see.” Said Ali before his fight in 1974 against George Foreman. Ali won the fight and gained the World Heavyweight Championship with that fight.
He has gone on to rightly say, “It’s not bragging if you can back it.” Well put. Ali not only talked, he believed in his abilities to no end, and he worked towards honing his skills with absolute resolve as well.
Believe in yourself, and then make the world believe it, both, in word and in action. And you will be the greatest in any walk of life. All you need to do is have the self confidence, even if it does border cockiness, and nose dive into that greatest game- life.
On golf Ali said, “I’m the best. I just haven’t played yet.” Doubt anyone has any suspicion on Ali’s resolve should he had put his mind to anything in life.
So here is my advice thats worth a little more than just a penny.
Next time you come up against any situation at all in life, just ask yourself this one question... ‘What would Muhammad Ali do?’ and go for the kill with absolute resolve.
Saturday, August 7, 2010
Help! I don’t have abdominal muscles! So a Six Pack is Out!
All of us have habits. Most of us have a few which are hard to kick. Some of us are would like to stop. Few of us really do.
Our habits range from smoking and drinking, to anger, to being overtly competitive to being a little too shy. All of us know we perhaps should not be doing a few things that we do. a tiny percentage really take any action.
There is a line of thought doing the rounds. Some of us are stronger willed than some others. So its easy for some. There is also another line of thought that we sometimes supposedly do not have control over our actions. ‘You just wouldn’t understand.’ They say. ‘You have never gone through it the way I have.’
While it is agreeable to think so about certain experiences, it is completely wrong to tell yourself that and others, so that you don’t have to take any action.
A hypothetical question for believers and non-believers alike.
When you ask, ‘Oh God! Give me the strength and courage!’ what do you think he does?
Does He think to himself, ‘finally this fellow asked me for it! I have been waiting all my life to give it to him.’ So here you are. Take some.
Or does he simply give you the opportunity to show some strength and courage. (Since he gave you what you asked for when he made you in the first place). For the non-believers, perhaps when you look for it, you suddenly realize and see an opportunity to show courage and strength, something you did not recognize till now.
What does God do when you ask him to make you kinder?
Does he make you kind, or give you the opportunity to be kind?
Or on a funnier note, one that might get things into perspective on a daily basis, when you say, “Damn he got a six pack, I wish I had them.”
Do you really mean that by exercise that you will obtain abdominal muscles, muscles that you never had? or does it simply mean that you always had them. It is simply now that you recognize that and with a little effort, it will just help them get further developed and come to the forefront.
We often believe that there are people amongst us who have more strength, be it mental or physical. We are in awe of some people who seem to be much more talented, or intelligent or even some people who are simply more courageous or smarter. But in thinking so, we simply diminish or rather hide behind our own fear of failure where in reality there is none.
As humans we are all born pretty much the same, and yet we are different enough to be individualistic. Sure some traits may differ, but largely we have the freedom to grow and develop in different ways depending on where we are from and how we have been brought up by this world.
We are the sum of our experiences.
In many ways this is a gift, also in many ways we unconsciously turn into our a curse. Gift, because we have so much possibility, each one of us grows differently. And a curse, because, in growing to different experiences in life, there are times where we forget that we are all born the same with the same possibilities inside of us. We all have the same mental capabilities, albeit some may find it a little easier than others but none the less there is no such thing as something that each one of us cannot accomplish or be.
Pete Sampras was not born the Pete Sampras we know. We almost never acknowledge the immense hard work and dedication behind the scene.
Courage for instance is not something that some of us have and some of us don’t, but courage is simply a choice we make in the face of adversity.
And that choice is more often than not, based on our experiences in life upto that point. There is no right or wrong here. Only choices made, directions chosen, consequences lived.
But the beauty of it all is, that no matter what the life has been, what experiences have taught, we will always have that choice. Its upto each one of us to simply exercise it.
Each one of us have the gift of the abdominal muscle. Its really upto us to decide whether we really want to have that six pack or not, how badly we want it and what we are willing to do, how far we are willing to go, how much conviction we have and how persistent we are.
The truth about life pretty much comes down that same question that started this passage,
When you really need to be mentally strong, when you ask God to give you the strength, what do he do?
Does he give you the strength, or does he deliver you an opportunity to display that strength He already knows you have?
Our habits range from smoking and drinking, to anger, to being overtly competitive to being a little too shy. All of us know we perhaps should not be doing a few things that we do. a tiny percentage really take any action.
There is a line of thought doing the rounds. Some of us are stronger willed than some others. So its easy for some. There is also another line of thought that we sometimes supposedly do not have control over our actions. ‘You just wouldn’t understand.’ They say. ‘You have never gone through it the way I have.’
While it is agreeable to think so about certain experiences, it is completely wrong to tell yourself that and others, so that you don’t have to take any action.
A hypothetical question for believers and non-believers alike.
When you ask, ‘Oh God! Give me the strength and courage!’ what do you think he does?
Does He think to himself, ‘finally this fellow asked me for it! I have been waiting all my life to give it to him.’ So here you are. Take some.
Or does he simply give you the opportunity to show some strength and courage. (Since he gave you what you asked for when he made you in the first place). For the non-believers, perhaps when you look for it, you suddenly realize and see an opportunity to show courage and strength, something you did not recognize till now.
What does God do when you ask him to make you kinder?
Does he make you kind, or give you the opportunity to be kind?
Or on a funnier note, one that might get things into perspective on a daily basis, when you say, “Damn he got a six pack, I wish I had them.”
Do you really mean that by exercise that you will obtain abdominal muscles, muscles that you never had? or does it simply mean that you always had them. It is simply now that you recognize that and with a little effort, it will just help them get further developed and come to the forefront.
We often believe that there are people amongst us who have more strength, be it mental or physical. We are in awe of some people who seem to be much more talented, or intelligent or even some people who are simply more courageous or smarter. But in thinking so, we simply diminish or rather hide behind our own fear of failure where in reality there is none.
As humans we are all born pretty much the same, and yet we are different enough to be individualistic. Sure some traits may differ, but largely we have the freedom to grow and develop in different ways depending on where we are from and how we have been brought up by this world.
We are the sum of our experiences.
In many ways this is a gift, also in many ways we unconsciously turn into our a curse. Gift, because we have so much possibility, each one of us grows differently. And a curse, because, in growing to different experiences in life, there are times where we forget that we are all born the same with the same possibilities inside of us. We all have the same mental capabilities, albeit some may find it a little easier than others but none the less there is no such thing as something that each one of us cannot accomplish or be.
Pete Sampras was not born the Pete Sampras we know. We almost never acknowledge the immense hard work and dedication behind the scene.
Courage for instance is not something that some of us have and some of us don’t, but courage is simply a choice we make in the face of adversity.
And that choice is more often than not, based on our experiences in life upto that point. There is no right or wrong here. Only choices made, directions chosen, consequences lived.
But the beauty of it all is, that no matter what the life has been, what experiences have taught, we will always have that choice. Its upto each one of us to simply exercise it.
Each one of us have the gift of the abdominal muscle. Its really upto us to decide whether we really want to have that six pack or not, how badly we want it and what we are willing to do, how far we are willing to go, how much conviction we have and how persistent we are.
The truth about life pretty much comes down that same question that started this passage,
When you really need to be mentally strong, when you ask God to give you the strength, what do he do?
Does he give you the strength, or does he deliver you an opportunity to display that strength He already knows you have?
Friday, August 6, 2010
An Ode to a Friend
A couple of years ago, a friend of mine still in his early twenties passed away in a road accident. I had befriended him at school. We were classmates. He, as young man, was extremely intelligent and enterprising. Come to think of it, he was also quite funny. Not to mention he did manage his share of girls who had little schoolgirl crushes on him.
Eventually, though, when I passed out of school, we lost touch, just the few rumors of what he was upto from common friends.
However, while I was doing my masters, I got in touch with another school friend who broke it to me. This friend of mine was died. He had passed away in a road accident a while back.
I could suddenly hear my heart thumping. There were no words nor any thoughts in my mind. I simply blanked out. It came like an absolute jolt. I almost choked.
Now I hadn’t been in touch with him for a while so I wasn’t exactly close to him of late, but we had been good friends back in school, and when you hear something like this all those moments you have shared with the person come gushing back to you. Almost like a flood of thought and emotion. This boy was up for an absolutely bright future, but with this freak mishap, his life had ended. Life had abruptly just ceased. He was dead.
And in that moment another thing hit me. All that we plan, all that we look forward to in life, as if it would almost never end, can. All in the snap of a finger.
We spend our entire lives planning for a future. We build towards what we believe we want to do and be. And that is not wrong, for that is how we can steer what little control we do have over our lives. But most often, we lose sight of the here and now. And this does not mean just this moment, but also what we desire in this day today or the coming month, or year.
This already has become the generation of instant gratification and restlessness. The want for everything ‘right now’ is the norm. But the reference here is not to self indulgence or gratification. It is to the idea of the importance of time.
It is extremely important to have goals in life, but while we do this macro-management of how we want to live our future, we must not lose sight of the fact that this here is exactly your life. You are unfolding it as you read this very passage.
This is the moment right here. You could be anywhere in the world right now and could be doing anything thing you want to. Here is where you chose to be and this is what you chose to do. Life is now. Life is unfolding this very moment.
Think about it.
Macro-manage, but don’t forget to micromanage a little too. Each day that you live is a day you lose forever. Are you sure that this is how you wished to spend it? Think about it. And then think about this- Was the day you spent today, how you wished to have spent it? Was yesterday? Was the last month worth your life? Could it have been better? And this is not the same as a glass half empty, but more of the concept of a glass half empty, sure, but you drank it and it was splendid.
How about this, ‘That last year you spent living- had you skipped it altogether, would you have missed it?’ Try answering that same question for last month, or last week and things start to get a whole lot freakier.
This does not mean that you have to fruitfully spend each living minute in learning and making complete sense. It simply means that you should have lived it and not drifted past it. But perhaps you wanted to indulge in a night out last week, perhaps you wanted to spend last weekend with your parents but didn’t. Perhaps it was that horse riding session. Perhaps you think you have all the time in the world to do, things you have simply pushed onto the back burner. Kind of like when you live in a city, you have in all probability never seen its most important historical facets, or things that you make sure you see as a tourist when you go visit distant places. Perhaps because you have that feeling that you could do it anytime- Your not going anywhere, and neither is the city.
Well tell that to my friend who passed away, or to his family. This is the most important thing my friend has taught me, unfortunately it has been in his passing.
Go ahead and do today. Not to leave any space for regret of not having done should my time be limited, and it is limited for all of us, make no mistake.
Imagine if you had only but a month or year to live. And while I hope it never comes to that, one year it finally will, but imagine for just a moment if it was true now. What do you do?
I leave you here with that one thought to ponder upon. Those thoughts you have right this moment in you mind, perhaps its time you acted on some of them.
Today is a gift. This moment is a gift. Embrace it.
This is your moment in passing right here, right now.
This is what you chose to do and where you chose to be.
Eventually, though, when I passed out of school, we lost touch, just the few rumors of what he was upto from common friends.
However, while I was doing my masters, I got in touch with another school friend who broke it to me. This friend of mine was died. He had passed away in a road accident a while back.
I could suddenly hear my heart thumping. There were no words nor any thoughts in my mind. I simply blanked out. It came like an absolute jolt. I almost choked.
Now I hadn’t been in touch with him for a while so I wasn’t exactly close to him of late, but we had been good friends back in school, and when you hear something like this all those moments you have shared with the person come gushing back to you. Almost like a flood of thought and emotion. This boy was up for an absolutely bright future, but with this freak mishap, his life had ended. Life had abruptly just ceased. He was dead.
And in that moment another thing hit me. All that we plan, all that we look forward to in life, as if it would almost never end, can. All in the snap of a finger.
We spend our entire lives planning for a future. We build towards what we believe we want to do and be. And that is not wrong, for that is how we can steer what little control we do have over our lives. But most often, we lose sight of the here and now. And this does not mean just this moment, but also what we desire in this day today or the coming month, or year.
This already has become the generation of instant gratification and restlessness. The want for everything ‘right now’ is the norm. But the reference here is not to self indulgence or gratification. It is to the idea of the importance of time.
It is extremely important to have goals in life, but while we do this macro-management of how we want to live our future, we must not lose sight of the fact that this here is exactly your life. You are unfolding it as you read this very passage.
This is the moment right here. You could be anywhere in the world right now and could be doing anything thing you want to. Here is where you chose to be and this is what you chose to do. Life is now. Life is unfolding this very moment.
Think about it.
Macro-manage, but don’t forget to micromanage a little too. Each day that you live is a day you lose forever. Are you sure that this is how you wished to spend it? Think about it. And then think about this- Was the day you spent today, how you wished to have spent it? Was yesterday? Was the last month worth your life? Could it have been better? And this is not the same as a glass half empty, but more of the concept of a glass half empty, sure, but you drank it and it was splendid.
How about this, ‘That last year you spent living- had you skipped it altogether, would you have missed it?’ Try answering that same question for last month, or last week and things start to get a whole lot freakier.
This does not mean that you have to fruitfully spend each living minute in learning and making complete sense. It simply means that you should have lived it and not drifted past it. But perhaps you wanted to indulge in a night out last week, perhaps you wanted to spend last weekend with your parents but didn’t. Perhaps it was that horse riding session. Perhaps you think you have all the time in the world to do, things you have simply pushed onto the back burner. Kind of like when you live in a city, you have in all probability never seen its most important historical facets, or things that you make sure you see as a tourist when you go visit distant places. Perhaps because you have that feeling that you could do it anytime- Your not going anywhere, and neither is the city.
Well tell that to my friend who passed away, or to his family. This is the most important thing my friend has taught me, unfortunately it has been in his passing.
Go ahead and do today. Not to leave any space for regret of not having done should my time be limited, and it is limited for all of us, make no mistake.
Imagine if you had only but a month or year to live. And while I hope it never comes to that, one year it finally will, but imagine for just a moment if it was true now. What do you do?
I leave you here with that one thought to ponder upon. Those thoughts you have right this moment in you mind, perhaps its time you acted on some of them.
Today is a gift. This moment is a gift. Embrace it.
This is your moment in passing right here, right now.
This is what you chose to do and where you chose to be.
Sunday, August 1, 2010
'The Youth Rebellion' and 'Mid-life Crisis'
‘The exuberance of youth’, ‘the youth rebellion’, ‘the seven year itch’, ‘mid life crisis’
We call it all kinds of different names at different stages of our lives. But they really all are just essentially the same thing- A need to feel a little more complete. A need to remind ourselves that our life and living is actually meaningful and we are doing whatever we possibly can to fulfill its promise.
Each one of us go through those phases in life where we want more out of it, be it when we are fifteen where you want to be the first or youngest to do something, or eighteen where you believe you have your entire life ahead of you and the world is your oyster, be it in your mid twenties when you sometimes sit back and realize life is really passing you by or in the late thirties and forties when you know that this is it – its now or never.
There is this distinct emptiness in life, it in the realm of being personal, social or professional. There is this sudden dearth of meaning or a knowing emptiness that eats away at you.
We all cope with it in our own ways and we do go through this phase numerous times in life- for some of us its every few months, for others it every few years.
But no matter when, each time this happens, we come up with things we can do to fill this void. How do we try to cope? We all have our own way.
From things as small as wanting to join a gym or dance class, or a language or a music class, to changing jobs or taking up a hobby that has been shelved for years, to as drastic as wanting to change countries, or lifestyles or professions for a whole new experience and life. And these are just a few of the things we decide to fill some of our voids to help us move on.
But as true as it sounds in your mind, the truth is, it rarely leaves it.
What we rarely do is to go ahead and do any of these things before this phase passes. And then we get into that phase a few years later only to realize that we never did anything about it in the first place.
What we do is to constantly put things off.
Joining the gym, ‘I will join it after this one gala’ or ‘as soon as I come back from this vacation or work trip’ or better yet - my personal favorite, ‘I will start it from Monday!’ the funny thing being it never seems to matter which day of the week you are on when you say this, it could’ve been the Tuesday or the Saturday. And guess what? It rarely comes, this so called Monday. The same goes of taking classes, ‘I will find out about these classes over the weekend.’ Or ‘I will take that holiday- perhaps next month end sometime.’ Its never ‘Pick up the phone and find out now! And register!’ or ‘I’m booking my holiday now!’. Its always a plan for the distant future, never immediate.
We as humans are essentially really good at making plans. Its what we do best. Its what we have become. We make so many plans and most of them never followed through.
We humans are really good at doing that too!
So what is the solution?
Stop making plans!
It more often than not does not help in any case.
That empty feeling will soon fade, the steam pretty much runs out with this fickle mind of ours in any case. So just don’t bother.
Just one hitch.
It will simmer again till the next burst, whenever it is that that happens. And we are back at square one, a few years older than before with the same rant.
Your life will stay incomplete, until you do complete it, and not with plans.
That void you want to fill – fill it.
The only solution is , and as difficult as it sounds or feels, is this-
Reach out into your pocket now, stretch your hand out all the way into it, and pull out the phone. Press those painful buttons on the keypad, because they really are as hot as coal. Press the scalding hot phone to the ear and let the words come out of your mouth though it feels like razors in your throat.
Find out more about that class you so badly wanted to take all your life. Do it now. Enroll yourself for that gym today.
It’s like going to gym in the morning. It’s the biggest pain in the behind to drag yourself out of bed, but once you are at the gym and a half hour into it, your glad that you did it.
It’s the same with all those things you’ve always wanted to do but don’t.
You have to have done it atleast once to know this feeling –
'Was really not feeling upto it, but now that it’s done, was really glad I did it!!’
After that once, it really just about reminding yourself of that very same feeling the next time you are trying to be lazy or lying to yourself.
Once done again, you will be feel great that you did, again.
The more you feed this feeling of ‘Really glad I did it!’ the easier it gets.
And this last bit, I can personally vouch for.
Close that mind loop when you open it.
Believe it.
Life really is passing you by.
This time is not a phase in life, it is a reality.
Every little thing postponed, really is a postponement.
Each of these postponements do fester.
But every little thing that you wanted to do and were glad you did, really did make you glad!
So just close that loop.
And you’ll be glad that you did.
We call it all kinds of different names at different stages of our lives. But they really all are just essentially the same thing- A need to feel a little more complete. A need to remind ourselves that our life and living is actually meaningful and we are doing whatever we possibly can to fulfill its promise.
Each one of us go through those phases in life where we want more out of it, be it when we are fifteen where you want to be the first or youngest to do something, or eighteen where you believe you have your entire life ahead of you and the world is your oyster, be it in your mid twenties when you sometimes sit back and realize life is really passing you by or in the late thirties and forties when you know that this is it – its now or never.
There is this distinct emptiness in life, it in the realm of being personal, social or professional. There is this sudden dearth of meaning or a knowing emptiness that eats away at you.
We all cope with it in our own ways and we do go through this phase numerous times in life- for some of us its every few months, for others it every few years.
But no matter when, each time this happens, we come up with things we can do to fill this void. How do we try to cope? We all have our own way.
From things as small as wanting to join a gym or dance class, or a language or a music class, to changing jobs or taking up a hobby that has been shelved for years, to as drastic as wanting to change countries, or lifestyles or professions for a whole new experience and life. And these are just a few of the things we decide to fill some of our voids to help us move on.
But as true as it sounds in your mind, the truth is, it rarely leaves it.
What we rarely do is to go ahead and do any of these things before this phase passes. And then we get into that phase a few years later only to realize that we never did anything about it in the first place.
What we do is to constantly put things off.
Joining the gym, ‘I will join it after this one gala’ or ‘as soon as I come back from this vacation or work trip’ or better yet - my personal favorite, ‘I will start it from Monday!’ the funny thing being it never seems to matter which day of the week you are on when you say this, it could’ve been the Tuesday or the Saturday. And guess what? It rarely comes, this so called Monday. The same goes of taking classes, ‘I will find out about these classes over the weekend.’ Or ‘I will take that holiday- perhaps next month end sometime.’ Its never ‘Pick up the phone and find out now! And register!’ or ‘I’m booking my holiday now!’. Its always a plan for the distant future, never immediate.
We as humans are essentially really good at making plans. Its what we do best. Its what we have become. We make so many plans and most of them never followed through.
We humans are really good at doing that too!
So what is the solution?
Stop making plans!
It more often than not does not help in any case.
That empty feeling will soon fade, the steam pretty much runs out with this fickle mind of ours in any case. So just don’t bother.
Just one hitch.
It will simmer again till the next burst, whenever it is that that happens. And we are back at square one, a few years older than before with the same rant.
Your life will stay incomplete, until you do complete it, and not with plans.
That void you want to fill – fill it.
The only solution is , and as difficult as it sounds or feels, is this-
Reach out into your pocket now, stretch your hand out all the way into it, and pull out the phone. Press those painful buttons on the keypad, because they really are as hot as coal. Press the scalding hot phone to the ear and let the words come out of your mouth though it feels like razors in your throat.
Find out more about that class you so badly wanted to take all your life. Do it now. Enroll yourself for that gym today.
It’s like going to gym in the morning. It’s the biggest pain in the behind to drag yourself out of bed, but once you are at the gym and a half hour into it, your glad that you did it.
It’s the same with all those things you’ve always wanted to do but don’t.
You have to have done it atleast once to know this feeling –
'Was really not feeling upto it, but now that it’s done, was really glad I did it!!’
After that once, it really just about reminding yourself of that very same feeling the next time you are trying to be lazy or lying to yourself.
Once done again, you will be feel great that you did, again.
The more you feed this feeling of ‘Really glad I did it!’ the easier it gets.
And this last bit, I can personally vouch for.
Close that mind loop when you open it.
Believe it.
Life really is passing you by.
This time is not a phase in life, it is a reality.
Every little thing postponed, really is a postponement.
Each of these postponements do fester.
But every little thing that you wanted to do and were glad you did, really did make you glad!
So just close that loop.
And you’ll be glad that you did.
Friday, July 30, 2010
A rolling stone gathers no moss
As the world has changed over the years, so have many of the morals and definitions in life. From ‘Slow and steady wins the race’ to it being the fast, furious and calm, the hare and tortoise story is often ridiculed in this day and age, and with good reason- here comes the hare and he isn’t pausing for a nap anymore.
However with that being said, here is one that really needs questioning.
'A rolling stone gathers no moss.’
Well, this is perhaps true, but how about someone completing this phrase with all its involved nuances.
'A rolling stone gathers no moss, but a stationary one gathers just that.'
Think about it.
Now I am not taking away from the fact that a rolling stone indeed does not gather moss, but has anyone thought about the stationary one? What turns out to be that stone’s fate? Fixed, washed up, and covered around the same surrounding and muck for all of time?
How many people have you seen as seniors when you join a company to work, or friends who you may have left behind in a city where you studied, who have been there for almost all of their lives? If you have stepped out a while and come back, these people make you wonder- have they not grown at all? Its really lovely to find a city or village that you perhaps spent your formative years in, but what of the people in them?
You are born, and then you learn to roll around, you learn to crawl and then walk. You grow to get into nursery, then move into pre-school, then school and college and finally graduate to work. And then suddenly, that is all that is left to do. There are no more organized steps to grow after that and we have to pave our own way. But there in lies the catch. Quite a few of us, land up in the same job for years together not knowing what to do next, and life passes us by. Some of us cling on to continue studying, not knowing what to do next. And after a while, even that passes.
A couple of days ago, a senior person in the company I work for retired after around forty years in the same company. That’s right. Forty years! While there was perhaps a time where a steady job was everything, there is a time now where there are innumerable opportunities at any and every turn you take, provided you have the guts to embark on your own private adventure called life.
Edmund Burke wrote, “The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.” extremely powerful words, and if you think about it, its the very same with our own lives as well. If you just sit around waiting for something to happen, you are not going to move. You will simply lie there, waiting, feeling safe in the same place you started until you suddenly you wake up one day, several years from now, and think to yourself, ‘what the hell! When did all that time pass me by? Why have I not grown despite having done everything right and by the proverbial book?’
The only thing necessary for the triumph of the mundane is for any man to sit still, stagnate.
You do not have to be a stone that hurtles down the top of a cliff, chipping of pieces of yourself as you come down, but you do have to be one that rolls at a comfortable pace. The only thing a stationary stone gathers is dust and nothing else but, literally a whole lot of moss. And unless you’re a worm, I’m guessing algae are not exactly the only thing you want to have collected in abundance in a lifetime.
There must be a reason the word ‘living’ and ‘alive’ stir up emotions in our mind.
So roll on. And gather some flower mush and fresh dirt while you’re at it.
However with that being said, here is one that really needs questioning.
'A rolling stone gathers no moss.’
Well, this is perhaps true, but how about someone completing this phrase with all its involved nuances.
'A rolling stone gathers no moss, but a stationary one gathers just that.'
Think about it.
Now I am not taking away from the fact that a rolling stone indeed does not gather moss, but has anyone thought about the stationary one? What turns out to be that stone’s fate? Fixed, washed up, and covered around the same surrounding and muck for all of time?
How many people have you seen as seniors when you join a company to work, or friends who you may have left behind in a city where you studied, who have been there for almost all of their lives? If you have stepped out a while and come back, these people make you wonder- have they not grown at all? Its really lovely to find a city or village that you perhaps spent your formative years in, but what of the people in them?
You are born, and then you learn to roll around, you learn to crawl and then walk. You grow to get into nursery, then move into pre-school, then school and college and finally graduate to work. And then suddenly, that is all that is left to do. There are no more organized steps to grow after that and we have to pave our own way. But there in lies the catch. Quite a few of us, land up in the same job for years together not knowing what to do next, and life passes us by. Some of us cling on to continue studying, not knowing what to do next. And after a while, even that passes.
A couple of days ago, a senior person in the company I work for retired after around forty years in the same company. That’s right. Forty years! While there was perhaps a time where a steady job was everything, there is a time now where there are innumerable opportunities at any and every turn you take, provided you have the guts to embark on your own private adventure called life.
Edmund Burke wrote, “The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.” extremely powerful words, and if you think about it, its the very same with our own lives as well. If you just sit around waiting for something to happen, you are not going to move. You will simply lie there, waiting, feeling safe in the same place you started until you suddenly you wake up one day, several years from now, and think to yourself, ‘what the hell! When did all that time pass me by? Why have I not grown despite having done everything right and by the proverbial book?’
The only thing necessary for the triumph of the mundane is for any man to sit still, stagnate.
You do not have to be a stone that hurtles down the top of a cliff, chipping of pieces of yourself as you come down, but you do have to be one that rolls at a comfortable pace. The only thing a stationary stone gathers is dust and nothing else but, literally a whole lot of moss. And unless you’re a worm, I’m guessing algae are not exactly the only thing you want to have collected in abundance in a lifetime.
There must be a reason the word ‘living’ and ‘alive’ stir up emotions in our mind.
So roll on. And gather some flower mush and fresh dirt while you’re at it.
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Paul the Prophet
The Germans hated him for it. The Spanish loved him. Paul the octopus rightly foretold the results of each of the 8 football World Cup matches in 2010 that he was asked. Paul’s predictions were always right. Some hated him, some loved him. Some even spoke of wanting to kill him. Some wanted to make a monument of him. He was indeed good at predicting those results.
But here is the kicker for all those who harbor any kind of feelings towards this cephalopod- what Paul did after all was merely ‘tell’ what happened, he did not ‘cause’ its occurrence.
Nostradamus. Neither did he cause the World Wars, nor the death of Henry the second. Napoleon and Hitler did not do the things they did because he foretold them. The wars would have happened in any case and so would have history. His were mere predictions. Enough of which were also wrong.
Destiny refers to the predetermined course of events.
It merely presses to try and foretell. It does not do or cause or make. It is but a teller. The truth is that oracles, seers and even destiny are merely guesstimates.
The only true teller is time.
And for time to tell, something, anything must be done.
The truth lies in not sitting back and allowing life, events in the world to happen as it does without us. Not all that Nostradamus predicted came true. If man makes changes, if he decides to ‘do’, some predictions will fall apart.
Only time will truly tell. And for it to have something to tell, something in your favor, you must do.
To sit back and let foretold destiny by others shape your life into nothingness is more common that you would like to believe. And frankly then, if you have read the book, you know how the movies turns out. Where is the fun in that? Especially if you don’t like how the book reads. The idea here is to change the plot of the book if you don’t like it. Then there would be hope for the movie!
Cautionary predictions do not end with a person who dislikes you saying you will amount to nothing, or a less-than-secure person who has met with failures feeding you the same. It does not end with what a palmist or an astrologer says. It extends to what even people who are close to you say and predict. You sometimes even believe them, for better or worse. You let others thoughts, remarks and opinions shape your life. Most often these are merely roadblocks that you do not need.
‘You are never going to get that girl. She is too good for you and you know it!’
‘Come on, who are you kidding? That guy really is that good. You are not even close. There is nothing to be ashamed off. Its ok.’
You sat back. You let destiny write you.
What that black tongued negative person said to you years ago to you just came true.
OMG! But what can one do against destiny!
Now you tell me!
But here is the kicker for all those who harbor any kind of feelings towards this cephalopod- what Paul did after all was merely ‘tell’ what happened, he did not ‘cause’ its occurrence.
Nostradamus. Neither did he cause the World Wars, nor the death of Henry the second. Napoleon and Hitler did not do the things they did because he foretold them. The wars would have happened in any case and so would have history. His were mere predictions. Enough of which were also wrong.
Destiny refers to the predetermined course of events.
It merely presses to try and foretell. It does not do or cause or make. It is but a teller. The truth is that oracles, seers and even destiny are merely guesstimates.
The only true teller is time.
And for time to tell, something, anything must be done.
Man must do so that time may tell.Destiny is a creation of that ‘doing’. Paul was not the creator, the Spanish team was. Paul simply told, or rather foretold in this case.
The truth lies in not sitting back and allowing life, events in the world to happen as it does without us. Not all that Nostradamus predicted came true. If man makes changes, if he decides to ‘do’, some predictions will fall apart.
Only time will truly tell. And for it to have something to tell, something in your favor, you must do.
To sit back and let foretold destiny by others shape your life into nothingness is more common that you would like to believe. And frankly then, if you have read the book, you know how the movies turns out. Where is the fun in that? Especially if you don’t like how the book reads. The idea here is to change the plot of the book if you don’t like it. Then there would be hope for the movie!
Cautionary predictions do not end with a person who dislikes you saying you will amount to nothing, or a less-than-secure person who has met with failures feeding you the same. It does not end with what a palmist or an astrologer says. It extends to what even people who are close to you say and predict. You sometimes even believe them, for better or worse. You let others thoughts, remarks and opinions shape your life. Most often these are merely roadblocks that you do not need.
A person must cause, for the effect to happen.Know this,
Regret is to sit back and listen to what is said and allow it to happen- especially that which is not in your favor.
Just because some people did not have dreams as you do, it does not mean you cannot reach. Just because some others had dreams but did not follow them does not mean you should not. Just because some others had dreams, followed them and failed, does not mean you will to.‘You are never going to be able to wake up early.’
‘You are never going to get that girl. She is too good for you and you know it!’
‘Come on, who are you kidding? That guy really is that good. You are not even close. There is nothing to be ashamed off. Its ok.’
You sat back. You let destiny write you.
What that black tongued negative person said to you years ago to you just came true.
OMG! But what can one do against destiny!
Now you tell me!
Sunday, July 25, 2010
Spank Me!: Know what you want. But definitely know what you d...
Spank Me!: Know what you want. But definitely know what you d...: "Few of us know what we want. But most of us definitely know at the back of minds what we don’t want. And it’s a great place to start. There..."
Know what you want. But definitely know what you don’t.
Few of us know what we want. But most of us definitely know at the back of minds what we don’t want. And it’s a great place to start.
There are many things I want to do in life. Im sure there are many things you want as well. We all have direction, but few have anything real. It starts at age 5 or even earlier, certain of what we want to be, a fireman or a policeman or an astronaut, only to be just as certain as to what we want, at age 5 and a half – Superman it is! It is Superman for sure. No, but its definitely Spiderman! You can take that to the bank!
But as a sense of certain realities kick in, we tend to not know what we want of life any more. We start not-knowing what we want to be or do at age 10, and we do so well at it that we continue not-knowing at age 25 and continue doing so right into the 40s and more, bumbling through the years. The possible up-side to this of course is an excerpt from the Sunscreen song that goes something like this, “Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't.”
Don’t try to force yourself to know what to do with life. But make it a point to know what you do not want. Use the art of elimination. And this is the easy part. If you are fresh out of school and thinking of what you want to pursue and you do not want to become an engineer, or doctor or get into computers, then don’t. Eliminate the options that do not make sense to you and start again. Do not do it just because everyone else is. Know that most of your peers are just as confused as you are, and are doing it with the same reasoning you have – everyone else (that includes you) is!
Step back after you eliminate these non-possibilities and then re-look at the world and your options. Remember, they too are endless – but every little strike out helps.
If you are working already, think about what you want in 10 years from now and have a look at someone else in that place already. Look at what he or she has achieved in life, what they must have sacrificed to get there, and how their life looks in general. Is that the person you want to shape up to? The answer to that is the answer to your question that you had right in the beginning. “What do you want to do with your life?” if it is in the negative, then strike that. And start again. Your list is now a little shorter.
Today’s world may be a rat race, but know what your race is.
Each of us have different a different race to run. Do not get consumed in a race of another person or people. It is easy to get carried away and lose yourself to a race which many others are running. For all you know, you are a long jumper!
So find out what you want! And then look it up!
There are many things I want to do in life. Im sure there are many things you want as well. We all have direction, but few have anything real. It starts at age 5 or even earlier, certain of what we want to be, a fireman or a policeman or an astronaut, only to be just as certain as to what we want, at age 5 and a half – Superman it is! It is Superman for sure. No, but its definitely Spiderman! You can take that to the bank!
But as a sense of certain realities kick in, we tend to not know what we want of life any more. We start not-knowing what we want to be or do at age 10, and we do so well at it that we continue not-knowing at age 25 and continue doing so right into the 40s and more, bumbling through the years. The possible up-side to this of course is an excerpt from the Sunscreen song that goes something like this, “Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't.”
Don’t try to force yourself to know what to do with life. But make it a point to know what you do not want. Use the art of elimination. And this is the easy part. If you are fresh out of school and thinking of what you want to pursue and you do not want to become an engineer, or doctor or get into computers, then don’t. Eliminate the options that do not make sense to you and start again. Do not do it just because everyone else is. Know that most of your peers are just as confused as you are, and are doing it with the same reasoning you have – everyone else (that includes you) is!
Step back after you eliminate these non-possibilities and then re-look at the world and your options. Remember, they too are endless – but every little strike out helps.
If you are working already, think about what you want in 10 years from now and have a look at someone else in that place already. Look at what he or she has achieved in life, what they must have sacrificed to get there, and how their life looks in general. Is that the person you want to shape up to? The answer to that is the answer to your question that you had right in the beginning. “What do you want to do with your life?” if it is in the negative, then strike that. And start again. Your list is now a little shorter.
Today’s world may be a rat race, but know what your race is.
Each of us have different a different race to run. Do not get consumed in a race of another person or people. It is easy to get carried away and lose yourself to a race which many others are running. For all you know, you are a long jumper!
So find out what you want! And then look it up!
Remember this. We all think we are different and unique, and we are. But we are all also frighteningly more similar to each other in thought and action that we would like to believe. Think of what you think of the people around you when you are in a flight or the metro or any other public place just waiting. Your mind wanders and you make opinions of everyone around you. Know this. Most of them are thinking the exact same thing about you too.
So think about what you think you want to be and what you want to do and then look at the people who are there already, and there will always be people to look up. Look at the best case scenario, also make note of the worst off. It could be your boss, it could be an industrialist, it could be an athlete, it could be an artist, and it could even be a local social worker. Of course you would say you will do much better, as each of does, but it will give you a good idea none the less. Now decide again. Your life direction need not always be a do-it-yourself kit which you spend your entire life time discovering only to find out you were working on the wrong kit! Directions to various kits are right in front of you already. You just have to sift through the kits. Is that what you want to do and be or is it that other person or maybe it is someone else. Choose.
Decide.
Decide against. Know what you do not want to be.
Know what you do not want to do or be doing 5-10-20 years from now.
And try again.
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