‘The exuberance of youth’, ‘the youth rebellion’, ‘the seven year itch’, ‘mid life crisis’
We call it all kinds of different names at different stages of our lives. But they really all are just essentially the same thing- A need to feel a little more complete. A need to remind ourselves that our life and living is actually meaningful and we are doing whatever we possibly can to fulfill its promise.
Each one of us go through those phases in life where we want more out of it, be it when we are fifteen where you want to be the first or youngest to do something, or eighteen where you believe you have your entire life ahead of you and the world is your oyster, be it in your mid twenties when you sometimes sit back and realize life is really passing you by or in the late thirties and forties when you know that this is it – its now or never.
There is this distinct emptiness in life, it in the realm of being personal, social or professional. There is this sudden dearth of meaning or a knowing emptiness that eats away at you.
We all cope with it in our own ways and we do go through this phase numerous times in life- for some of us its every few months, for others it every few years.
But no matter when, each time this happens, we come up with things we can do to fill this void. How do we try to cope? We all have our own way.
From things as small as wanting to join a gym or dance class, or a language or a music class, to changing jobs or taking up a hobby that has been shelved for years, to as drastic as wanting to change countries, or lifestyles or professions for a whole new experience and life. And these are just a few of the things we decide to fill some of our voids to help us move on.
But as true as it sounds in your mind, the truth is, it rarely leaves it.
What we rarely do is to go ahead and do any of these things before this phase passes. And then we get into that phase a few years later only to realize that we never did anything about it in the first place.
What we do is to constantly put things off.
Joining the gym, ‘I will join it after this one gala’ or ‘as soon as I come back from this vacation or work trip’ or better yet - my personal favorite, ‘I will start it from Monday!’ the funny thing being it never seems to matter which day of the week you are on when you say this, it could’ve been the Tuesday or the Saturday. And guess what? It rarely comes, this so called Monday. The same goes of taking classes, ‘I will find out about these classes over the weekend.’ Or ‘I will take that holiday- perhaps next month end sometime.’ Its never ‘Pick up the phone and find out now! And register!’ or ‘I’m booking my holiday now!’. Its always a plan for the distant future, never immediate.
We as humans are essentially really good at making plans. Its what we do best. Its what we have become. We make so many plans and most of them never followed through.
We humans are really good at doing that too!
So what is the solution?
Stop making plans!
It more often than not does not help in any case.
That empty feeling will soon fade, the steam pretty much runs out with this fickle mind of ours in any case. So just don’t bother.
Just one hitch.
It will simmer again till the next burst, whenever it is that that happens. And we are back at square one, a few years older than before with the same rant.
Your life will stay incomplete, until you do complete it, and not with plans.
That void you want to fill – fill it.
The only solution is , and as difficult as it sounds or feels, is this-
Reach out into your pocket now, stretch your hand out all the way into it, and pull out the phone. Press those painful buttons on the keypad, because they really are as hot as coal. Press the scalding hot phone to the ear and let the words come out of your mouth though it feels like razors in your throat.
Find out more about that class you so badly wanted to take all your life. Do it now. Enroll yourself for that gym today.
It’s like going to gym in the morning. It’s the biggest pain in the behind to drag yourself out of bed, but once you are at the gym and a half hour into it, your glad that you did it.
It’s the same with all those things you’ve always wanted to do but don’t.
You have to have done it atleast once to know this feeling –
'Was really not feeling upto it, but now that it’s done, was really glad I did it!!’
After that once, it really just about reminding yourself of that very same feeling the next time you are trying to be lazy or lying to yourself.
Once done again, you will be feel great that you did, again.
The more you feed this feeling of ‘Really glad I did it!’ the easier it gets.
And this last bit, I can personally vouch for.
Close that mind loop when you open it.
Believe it.
Life really is passing you by.
This time is not a phase in life, it is a reality.
Every little thing postponed, really is a postponement.
Each of these postponements do fester.
But every little thing that you wanted to do and were glad you did, really did make you glad!
So just close that loop.
And you’ll be glad that you did.
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