Zoom In! Zoom Out!

Honest answer here.

How many times have you picked up something and gotten so wrapped up in it that you forgot everything else and kept at it so long that you almost completely ignored everything else around you?

It is an amazing feeling. And its almost always worth getting to that place.

But as is everything, too much of anything is never great. There are two sides to the coin.

Most of us fall into this myopic vision category at some part of time or the other. The funny thing is that there are so few of us far-sighted enough that if you think of the antonym of myopic, most of us would actually draw a complete blank.

There have been many times that I have gotten caught up making that perfect sketch, down to every detail on it, that I fell out of time towards the entire job at hand.

How many times (and this is for those rather intellectual bunch out there) has this happened in a math exam, where you decided you simply had to solve that one question that you could not crack. So much so that you ignored the rest of the questions because they weren’t challenging enough, and in the process you ran out of time.

Or how many times have you spent time to make that presentation template perfect only to realize that you spent way too much time to make that and now have too little time left to fill in the actual content of that presentation.

These are just a few examples of a micro level of ‘zoom-in’. Each of us have our own instances to relate to. The end result, too little time spent looking at the bigger picture, losing out valuable time and energy that could have been spent on the more important landscapes of life.

Getting caught up in the following of a sport that takes over your life, or spending all the time with your girlfriend or boyfriend, or more seriously even putting off that entrepreneurship opportunity for that steady income job - basically one aspect of your life completely taking over its entirety. That’s a macro level of ‘zoom-in’.

Either way, be it zooming in through the course of one day, or zooming in through the course of one year, both can be just as harmful.
Think about it.

Often on looking back on many micro and macro levels of zooming in, would you have realized that quite a bit of it was actually great, but it cost you more dearly in terms of time and emotion in life as compared to that tiny amount of satisfaction that you thought was the world to you when you did.

So no matter who you are, even if you are an artist of sorts, zoom-out!
Every few minutes or weeks, take a step back. Look at your life in tune from a third person point of view. Look at yourself as would a stranger peering into your life. Gauge this stranger’s reaction. Understand the advice this stranger would impart to you.
Take that advice! Take it seriously!

This, today, is your life.

Zoom out, and then zoom right back in. Understand that you must find a balance in your life with what you value and what would help your path, rather than an instant gratification that gives you some momentary pleasure. Go for that extended orgasm of the entirety that is your life. Look at the macro levels of your life, not constricted by any limits, be it time, passion or money.

Stay zoomed out long enough to grasp the direction and actions towards your life. Stay zoomed in long enough to make sure you are relatively satisfied with the depth of each of your actions to give you peace of mind. But get out of the zoom-out mode before you waste away your life in mere though and lack of action, and also step out of the zoom-in mode before you are consumed by that one action of self gratification that might be meaningless in the long run.

Devil is in the detail- And so is God. Zoom-in long enough to find them both, but zoom-out before either of them consumes you.

Alternate.

Zoom-in.

Zoom-out.

And then zoom-in again.

Oh! And the antonym of myopic is hyperopic.

Summiting Mt. Everest: In your Underwear!

Ever think of doing something out of the box? How about way out of the box, so far out that it almost drops off the face of the planet? Imagine summiting Mount Everest in nothing but your underwear. Better yet why not add a pair of socks with it. Atleast it would keep your feet warm. And how about that photograph at the top; a string of flags, clouds and snow capped mountains a little below in the background, and singular figure, wearing only his snow goggles, an oxygen mask, his underwear, and a pair of socks.

It is well known and little mentioned fact that we all would like to lead a full life, a life without regrets. It is a path that we all wish to tread, but few who really do.

Right through most our lives, we are subject to numerous incidents and experiences. If our lives are a tad on the conservative side, we are led to believe (should we be willing or wanting to listen) that to fulfill it to its true potential we must take risks. We must take those leaps of faith every once in a while. ‘Take a chance for a change.’ We are told. We are asked to do so on various levels, from free-advising friends and family to paid-in-cash gurus, self-help experts, and several other forums that preach this (some of whom actually even follow it themselves!).

But between all that priming of motivation and sense of euphoria we are brought to feel and experience in any such forum of discussion, to truly live a regret-free life, there is the need to understand, after the preaching of leaps and jumps and chances come this:
The fine print, and the disclaimer.

Understanding this is just as important, as not all of us will blindly turn into the flower children of the 70s, a Rembrandt who will cut his ear off, or a Reinhold Messner, the first to climb Mt. Everest without oxygen.

First, the disclaimer by everyone who exudes advice to you:
Do so at your own risk. What I said is merely a suggestion.
Realize that your life is your own, all that you do first affects you.

And secondly, the fine print:
There are primarily 3 directions to living life.
The first one is to live conservatively, which roughly translates to a sedate life, where decisions made cause life to be relatively routine, a safe life, a satisfactory life, one that the majority of the world lives.
The second way of living is one with risks. Now this second way of life can be further divided into various levels of risks that he or she is willing to partake in. These would be in a band from relatively low risk taking (just a touch better than being a conservative), to a calculated risk taker (this is where one aims to be), to extreme risk-taking, where one begins to get arrogant with life.
And there is the third kind of living, which can be in simple words, termed as reckless- an adrenaline junkie, a higher calling, this way of living has many names. This last one is usually avoided by most, lest he or she is one of them overzealous lots or self destructive ones, looking forward to cause harm, either physical or mental to themselves or to those close them. These are sometimes the world changers. These are also the ones who die by the hundreds without so much as an acknowledgement of having lived. These are the ones who live off the edge of a sword.

Now there are boundary lines on each of these ways of life. These however need to be defined if one is to understand his or her niche. Now, these definitions are not etched in stone, but open to interpretation. The plan is to ‘understanding ones appetite for life and risk and where the person will find happiness’ (It’s a little like finding out by trial and error what your drinking capacity is, this ofcourse can get messy at times, but it is an acceptable evil none the less. And if it isn’t, it very well should be.).

This is an important decision.

Once decided as to which fold of life you belong to, and you have a certain picture in mind with regard to how you believe your life would be lived to the fullest, understand that it is at 90% of pushing yourself towards it, that you would be at your epitome, regardless of what fold you belong to. You would have lived the best you can, because it is more likely than not, that last 10% of your life wants or desires would border reckless with regard to you – ‘Death or Glory’ comes to mind at this point.

Try to understand the differentiation between the 90% and the 10%.
Here, it is important to make your own understanding of what you believe is comfort, risk and being reckless. Following are a few examples that work for me:
At the risk of sounding chauvinistic, if you are a woman, in a city where it is not safe to travel late at night, then getting drunk at a bar and after, trying to find a way home at 3am is reckless. It is not cool.
If you are hooked on to anything, and have a difficult time admitting it to yourself even if people around you seem to keep telling you about it, you are being reckless.
If you are tired of your job, and want to find something else to do, you just up and quit without a clue, you are a high risk taker. If you are a family man and have responsibilities and the sole bread winner, and still do the same, then you are being reckless.
If you know what your drinking capacity is and you push for another round of drinks and decide to drive, it is also reckless.
And my personal favorite: If you are trying to climb Everest in your underwear alone, you are being reckless… and stupid. (Note from experience: adding socks will not help. They will only get wet and make you colder).

Each one of us must find what fold of living we belong to. Each of us must ask ourselves this question, and understand ourselves. Find your direction of living. Understand the risks involved, your risk appetite, what would make you happiest and let you sleep well at night.

After that, go for broke!

Be Mohammed Ali!

“I am the greatest… I said that even before I knew I was.”

Says Muhammad Ali on hindsight of all his achievements. Arguably one of the greatest boxers of all time, Muhammad Ali was one of the strongest believers of himself. And in time he made the world stand up and take that same view of him.

With his colorful quotes of self appreciation, that he constantly spewed as he delivered punches onto his opponents faces, Muhammad Ali pushed the world into giving him the same stature that he had for himself.

Would he have been just as great a boxer had he not said what he did? Perhaps. But can you imagine a world without the character of Muhammad Ali as he really was?

“I’m not the greatest; I’m the double greatest. Not only do I knock ‘em out, I pick the round.”

Boxing would never have been the same without the man who formerly went by name, Cassius Marcellus Clay Jr. nor would have the world stood up and taken notice of this man as did had he not had his taunts and self appreciating skills. He would have been great, but not the greatest character of boxing history.

If there is one thing to learn from Mr. Ali, it is this- You got to stand up tall, believe your self-worth, and then go ahead and make sure the world believes it. Because you may be good, but if you don’t stand up and make people believe it nobody is ever going to bother to find out. Because frankly, they couldn’t care less, unless of course you make them.

Think of that group work in school, where you had a significant contribution. You were taught to be humble at the time, and the thunder was stolen by that student in your group who presented. Or think of that job, where you did everything you were asked to and more, but did not talk about it enough. That average colleague of yours who made everyone stand up and take notice of any significant contribution he did, got the promotion. Perhaps you were appreciated as well, with a pat on the back. He got the promotion and pay hike. He stood up and affirmed his worth to the administration, you didn’t.

“Floats like a butterfly, sting like a bee, his hands can’t hit what his eyes can’t see.” Said Ali before his fight in 1974 against George Foreman. Ali won the fight and gained the World Heavyweight Championship with that fight.
He has gone on to rightly say, “It’s not bragging if you can back it.” Well put. Ali not only talked, he believed in his abilities to no end, and he worked towards honing his skills with absolute resolve as well.
Believe in yourself, and then make the world believe it, both, in word and in action. And you will be the greatest in any walk of life. All you need to do is have the self confidence, even if it does border cockiness, and nose dive into that greatest game- life.

On golf Ali said, “I’m the best. I just haven’t played yet.” Doubt anyone has any suspicion on Ali’s resolve should he had put his mind to anything in life.

So here is my advice thats worth a little more than just a penny.

Next time you come up against any situation at all in life, just ask yourself this one question... ‘What would Muhammad Ali do?’ and go for the kill with absolute resolve.

Help! I don’t have abdominal muscles! So a Six Pack is Out!

All of us have habits. Most of us have a few which are hard to kick. Some of us are would like to stop. Few of us really do.

Our habits range from smoking and drinking, to anger, to being overtly competitive to being a little too shy. All of us know we perhaps should not be doing a few things that we do. a tiny percentage really take any action.

There is a line of thought doing the rounds. Some of us are stronger willed than some others. So its easy for some. There is also another line of thought that we sometimes supposedly do not have control over our actions. ‘You just wouldn’t understand.’ They say. ‘You have never gone through it the way I have.’

While it is agreeable to think so about certain experiences, it is completely wrong to tell yourself that and others, so that you don’t have to take any action.

A hypothetical question for believers and non-believers alike.

When you ask, ‘Oh God! Give me the strength and courage!’ what do you think he does?

Does He think to himself, ‘finally this fellow asked me for it! I have been waiting all my life to give it to him.’ So here you are. Take some.
Or does he simply give you the opportunity to show some strength and courage. (Since he gave you what you asked for when he made you in the first place). For the non-believers, perhaps when you look for it, you suddenly realize and see an opportunity to show courage and strength, something you did not recognize till now.

What does God do when you ask him to make you kinder?
Does he make you kind, or give you the opportunity to be kind?

Or on a funnier note, one that might get things into perspective on a daily basis, when you say, “Damn he got a six pack, I wish I had them.”
Do you really mean that by exercise that you will obtain abdominal muscles, muscles that you never had? or does it simply mean that you always had them. It is simply now that you recognize that and with a little effort, it will just help them get further developed and come to the forefront.

We often believe that there are people amongst us who have more strength, be it mental or physical. We are in awe of some people who seem to be much more talented, or intelligent or even some people who are simply more courageous or smarter. But in thinking so, we simply diminish or rather hide behind our own fear of failure where in reality there is none.

As humans we are all born pretty much the same, and yet we are different enough to be individualistic. Sure some traits may differ, but largely we have the freedom to grow and develop in different ways depending on where we are from and how we have been brought up by this world.

We are the sum of our experiences.

In many ways this is a gift, also in many ways we unconsciously turn into our a curse. Gift, because we have so much possibility, each one of us grows differently. And a curse, because, in growing to different experiences in life, there are times where we forget that we are all born the same with the same possibilities inside of us. We all have the same mental capabilities, albeit some may find it a little easier than others but none the less there is no such thing as something that each one of us cannot accomplish or be.

Pete Sampras was not born the Pete Sampras we know. We almost never acknowledge the immense hard work and dedication behind the scene.

Courage for instance is not something that some of us have and some of us don’t, but courage is simply a choice we make in the face of adversity.

And that choice is more often than not, based on our experiences in life upto that point. There is no right or wrong here. Only choices made, directions chosen, consequences lived.

But the beauty of it all is, that no matter what the life has been, what experiences have taught, we will always have that choice. Its upto each one of us to simply exercise it.

Each one of us have the gift of the abdominal muscle. Its really upto us to decide whether we really want to have that six pack or not, how badly we want it and what we are willing to do, how far we are willing to go, how much conviction we have and how persistent we are.

The truth about life pretty much comes down that same question that started this passage,
When you really need to be mentally strong, when you ask God to give you the strength, what do he do?
Does he give you the strength, or does he deliver you an opportunity to display that strength He already knows you have?

An Ode to a Friend

A couple of years ago, a friend of mine still in his early twenties passed away in a road accident. I had befriended him at school. We were classmates. He, as young man, was extremely intelligent and enterprising. Come to think of it, he was also quite funny. Not to mention he did manage his share of girls who had little schoolgirl crushes on him.

Eventually, though, when I passed out of school, we lost touch, just the few rumors of what he was upto from common friends.

However, while I was doing my masters, I got in touch with another school friend who broke it to me. This friend of mine was died. He had passed away in a road accident a while back.

I could suddenly hear my heart thumping. There were no words nor any thoughts in my mind. I simply blanked out. It came like an absolute jolt. I almost choked.

Now I hadn’t been in touch with him for a while so I wasn’t exactly close to him of late, but we had been good friends back in school, and when you hear something like this all those moments you have shared with the person come gushing back to you. Almost like a flood of thought and emotion. This boy was up for an absolutely bright future, but with this freak mishap, his life had ended. Life had abruptly just ceased. He was dead.
And in that moment another thing hit me. All that we plan, all that we look forward to in life, as if it would almost never end, can. All in the snap of a finger.

We spend our entire lives planning for a future. We build towards what we believe we want to do and be. And that is not wrong, for that is how we can steer what little control we do have over our lives. But most often, we lose sight of the here and now. And this does not mean just this moment, but also what we desire in this day today or the coming month, or year.

This already has become the generation of instant gratification and restlessness. The want for everything ‘right now’ is the norm. But the reference here is not to self indulgence or gratification. It is to the idea of the importance of time.

It is extremely important to have goals in life, but while we do this macro-management of how we want to live our future, we must not lose sight of the fact that this here is exactly your life. You are unfolding it as you read this very passage.

This is the moment right here. You could be anywhere in the world right now and could be doing anything thing you want to. Here is where you chose to be and this is what you chose to do. Life is now. Life is unfolding this very moment.

Think about it.

Macro-manage, but don’t forget to micromanage a little too. Each day that you live is a day you lose forever. Are you sure that this is how you wished to spend it? Think about it. And then think about this- Was the day you spent today, how you wished to have spent it? Was yesterday? Was the last month worth your life? Could it have been better? And this is not the same as a glass half empty, but more of the concept of a glass half empty, sure, but you drank it and it was splendid.

How about this, ‘That last year you spent living- had you skipped it altogether, would you have missed it?’ Try answering that same question for last month, or last week and things start to get a whole lot freakier.

This does not mean that you have to fruitfully spend each living minute in learning and making complete sense. It simply means that you should have lived it and not drifted past it. But perhaps you wanted to indulge in a night out last week, perhaps you wanted to spend last weekend with your parents but didn’t. Perhaps it was that horse riding session. Perhaps you think you have all the time in the world to do, things you have simply pushed onto the back burner. Kind of like when you live in a city, you have in all probability never seen its most important historical facets, or things that you make sure you see as a tourist when you go visit distant places. Perhaps because you have that feeling that you could do it anytime- Your not going anywhere, and neither is the city.

Well tell that to my friend who passed away, or to his family. This is the most important thing my friend has taught me, unfortunately it has been in his passing.

Go ahead and do today. Not to leave any space for regret of not having done should my time be limited, and it is limited for all of us, make no mistake.

Imagine if you had only but a month or year to live. And while I hope it never comes to that, one year it finally will, but imagine for just a moment if it was true now. What do you do?

I leave you here with that one thought to ponder upon. Those thoughts you have right this moment in you mind, perhaps its time you acted on some of them.

Today is a gift. This moment is a gift. Embrace it.

This is your moment in passing right here, right now.
This is what you chose to do and where you chose to be.

'The Youth Rebellion' and 'Mid-life Crisis'

‘The exuberance of youth’, ‘the youth rebellion’, ‘the seven year itch’, ‘mid life crisis’
We call it all kinds of different names at different stages of our lives. But they really all are just essentially the same thing- A need to feel a little more complete. A need to remind ourselves that our life and living is actually meaningful and we are doing whatever we possibly can to fulfill its promise.

Each one of us go through those phases in life where we want more out of it, be it when we are fifteen where you want to be the first or youngest to do something, or eighteen where you believe you have your entire life ahead of you and the world is your oyster, be it in your mid twenties when you sometimes sit back and realize life is really passing you by or in the late thirties and forties when you know that this is it – its now or never.

There is this distinct emptiness in life, it in the realm of being personal, social or professional. There is this sudden dearth of meaning or a knowing emptiness that eats away at you.

We all cope with it in our own ways and we do go through this phase numerous times in life- for some of us its every few months, for others it every few years.

But no matter when, each time this happens, we come up with things we can do to fill this void. How do we try to cope? We all have our own way.

From things as small as wanting to join a gym or dance class, or a language or a music class, to changing jobs or taking up a hobby that has been shelved for years, to as drastic as wanting to change countries, or lifestyles or professions for a whole new experience and life. And these are just a few of the things we decide to fill some of our voids to help us move on.

But as true as it sounds in your mind, the truth is, it rarely leaves it.

What we rarely do is to go ahead and do any of these things before this phase passes. And then we get into that phase a few years later only to realize that we never did anything about it in the first place.
What we do is to constantly put things off.

Joining the gym, ‘I will join it after this one gala’ or ‘as soon as I come back from this vacation or work trip’ or better yet - my personal favorite, ‘I will start it from Monday!’ the funny thing being it never seems to matter which day of the week you are on when you say this, it could’ve been the Tuesday or the Saturday. And guess what? It rarely comes, this so called Monday. The same goes of taking classes, ‘I will find out about these classes over the weekend.’ Or ‘I will take that holiday- perhaps next month end sometime.’ Its never ‘Pick up the phone and find out now! And register!’ or ‘I’m booking my holiday now!’. Its always a plan for the distant future, never immediate.

We as humans are essentially really good at making plans. Its what we do best. Its what we have become. We make so many plans and most of them never followed through.
We humans are really good at doing that too!

So what is the solution?
Stop making plans!
It more often than not does not help in any case.

That empty feeling will soon fade, the steam pretty much runs out with this fickle mind of ours in any case. So just don’t bother.

Just one hitch.

It will simmer again till the next burst, whenever it is that that happens. And we are back at square one, a few years older than before with the same rant.
Your life will stay incomplete, until you do complete it, and not with plans.
That void you want to fill – fill it.

The only solution is , and as difficult as it sounds or feels, is this-
Reach out into your pocket now, stretch your hand out all the way into it, and pull out the phone. Press those painful buttons on the keypad, because they really are as hot as coal. Press the scalding hot phone to the ear and let the words come out of your mouth though it feels like razors in your throat.

Find out more about that class you so badly wanted to take all your life. Do it now. Enroll yourself for that gym today.
It’s like going to gym in the morning. It’s the biggest pain in the behind to drag yourself out of bed, but once you are at the gym and a half hour into it, your glad that you did it.

It’s the same with all those things you’ve always wanted to do but don’t.
You have to have done it atleast once to know this feeling –

'Was really not feeling upto it, but now that it’s done, was really glad I did it!!’

After that once, it really just about reminding yourself of that very same feeling the next time you are trying to be lazy or lying to yourself.

Once done again, you will be feel great that you did, again.
The more you feed this feeling of ‘Really glad I did it!’ the easier it gets.
And this last bit, I can personally vouch for.
Close that mind loop when you open it.

Believe it.
Life really is passing you by.
This time is not a phase in life, it is a reality.
Every little thing postponed, really is a postponement.
Each of these postponements do fester.
But every little thing that you wanted to do and were glad you did, really did make you glad!

So just close that loop.
And you’ll be glad that you did.